Monday, May 08, 2006

this is the end, my friend

Here’s a disrespectful look at some end times national ID and mark of the beast stuff. I could go on at length about this, but I’ll keep it short. I just want to point out how growing up Adventist it was about how Adventists were going to be persecuted by such technology and other churches. Later, one might admit that God’s chosen existed in other flocks, but by and large it was Adventists who were going to be persecuted. When I read articles like this, it reminds me that other denominations think they’re going to be persecuted by everyone else as well which leads me to wonder: Just how many churches think all the other churches (along with the athiests that are part of Satan’s church) are going to persecute them? It’s this type of thing that helps keep me away from church these days.

Thursday, May 04, 2006

The Price is Wrong, Bitch!

The Price is Right has infected our culture in an odd way. I occasionally encounter people that think that the better approximation of a number is always the lower one. For instance, in an admittedly trivial discussion on whether the price of gas was $3.20 or $3.19 when the price is $3.19 and 9/10, I took the position that $3.20 was obviously a better estimate of final price than $3.19. His main argument seemed to be “yes, but $3.19 is under the actual price.” This argument only makes sense on the price is right and it is not the first time I have encountered it. I can only attribute it to Bob Barker’s ever-growing demonic powers.

Friday, April 28, 2006

Twice Removed

I just got an email from the parents’ church (of which I guess I remain, technically, a member). It says they’re going to the park or some such nonsense to hand out this book. Yeah, I’m not sure I’ll be turning up for that. While the scare tactics about the end of the world hold a special place in my heart (as they were the main source of adrenaline for me into high school), I’m not sure spreading the fear around as a means of increasing the flock is identified as particularly christian in my book.

“It’s the end of the world! Only by joining our church and giving us 10% of your income can you be saved! Hurry! It’s happening now! Is that Satan behind you? Quick, run in here!”

Okay, now I’m just being silly.

Thursday, April 20, 2006

Conquering Thailand

Check out this commercial (look for yellow text and play button to play) and see if you don’t spot someone from the same factory as the hbot3000. It is very cool and I am, sniff, so proud!

Wednesday, April 12, 2006

Good Citizenry

Matt was gracious enough to give me “The Good Citizen’s Handbook.” What hidden message there was in that gift, I don’t care to speculate. Regardless, on first glance it is a camp classic. In fact, I’m trying to decide if it’s serious or some horrible parody. In any case, I thought it would be amusing to read through and decide how much I fit this person’s model of a good citizen. So, the introduction begins, “A good citizen is well-groomed . . ..” Huh. Well, I’m damned six words into it (tosses book out window). I see “Big Hair” (as opposed to Big Tobacco) has bought and paid for this advocate’s book. Sad. More later, once I get past the horrible dejection I feel from having failed the good citizen test in the first sentence.

Tuesday, April 11, 2006

Disaster Porn

You know, I enjoy reading the Clusterfuck Nation Chronicles (linked to the right), but it’s become hard to take seriously. Someone on his site described what he does as “Disaster Porn” and I find that description hard to dispute. I must admit I like reading his site for the same reason I like disaster movies, just an abject fascination with apocalyptic/disaster scenarios. So, for the record, I don’t want an oil crisis to destroy the country. As much as I find it interesting to examine the possibilities, I do cherish my electricity and my easy motoring. Having said that, I do agree with Kunstler on what a silly idea suburbs, strip malls and long commutes are. I do think that gas prices are going to become higher and cause some significant problems, but I in no way really want it to happen. In any case, gas is edging up again this summer and my thoughts once again drifted to the demise of oiled civilization. Having said that, it is funny to watch the “we’re all doomed” side crow when oil and gas prices go up with the “sensible” I-heart-my-SUV crowd saying fluctuations are normal, only to see positions reversed completely with no trace of irony when prices go down again.

In a related note, I see that some people are getting a little upset about the confirmed report that the Chimperor is considering using nukes (“but they’re tiny!”) to destroy some targets in Iran. The report says that the Bush Administration believes that they can bomb Iran into Democracy. So, uh, yeah. Crazy people run the government. This guy probably sounds a little hysterical, but his feelings closely mirror my own. In short: Bombing Iran with tiny nukes = Stupid Fucking Idea. That is all.

Monday, April 03, 2006

An open letter

Dear Daylight Savings Time,

FUCK. YOU.

That is all.

Sincerely,

Hbot3000

Monday, March 20, 2006

About that Forecast


snow1
Originally uploaded by hbot3000.
As of 3:30 this afternoon, the national weather service forecast said fairly confidently that the snow storm in the mountains wouldn't deposit any measurable snow in Reno. As of 5:00, this is what the view outside my apartment looked like. So yeah, not their best forecast. I'm not saying they're terrible, they do a pretty good job usually, it's just telling about the state of weather forecasting that we still have days where the forecasts are this wrong. In any case, it made me laugh.

Friday, March 03, 2006

On a more insane note . . .

Nuclear non-proliferation is widely regarded as a Good Idea. This is not nuclear non-proliferation. The funny thing about nuclear weapons, is that not only do they kill lots of innocent people and render whole swaths of ground uninhabitable for many, many years, they also blow lots and lots and lots and lots and lots of tiny, yet harmful radioactive particles into the air. The funny thing about air is that it can actually transport these particles from one place to another using things like “wind” which is caused by “pressure differences” (stop me, Mr. President, if this gets too technical for you). These particles can be transported by this “wind” hundreds and thousands of miles to entirely new places with new people and will eventually be deposited in things like, oh say, drinking water. This in turn leads to things like “radiation poisoning”. In fact, in a study I read a year or two ago (but am too lazy to look up and link to) atmospheric scientists actually did a study about where the air from our atomic testing in the Pacific Ocean went and what effect that might have had on people. They found that the air from some of these tests made their way to certain regions of the united states which, oddly enough had had much higher rates of cancer for the 20 or 30 years after the tests were completed. Hmmmm. This is just one reason why allowing India to make lots more nuclear weapons, is a Bad Idea. Another quick one is that India doesn’t really like Pakistan, who also happens to have a couple of nuclear weapons. So now, we have a new arms race in Asia. Wheee!

Here’s another bad idea: electing as leader of the free world someone who doesn’t see that casually allowing India to make lots of nuclear weapons is a Horrible, Fucking Retarded and Bad Idea. He’s not a harmless, nincompoop president, when he pulls shit like this. It is actually a good thing to have leaders with a higher intelligence than the rest of the population. It would be nice if some grown-ups could speak up around election time and say “Hey everybody, you actually don’t want to vote for a guy you could have a beer with, because he says the craziest shit when he’s drunk. It would probably be good to have a guy who’s smart and inquisitive. Just saying.”

Just saying.

Friday, February 24, 2006

Do you really, honestly care?

The commentary for today's Penny Arcade highlights for me exactly what is both the best and the most terrifying aspect of geekdom. The obsessiveness of fangeeks. I was laughing out loud, which is unusual for me at work. It tends to raise awkward questions, like, "What are you doing reading that instead of working?"

Anyway. . . Why is it that geeks (perhaps that should be we geeks) take so much pride and pleasure from knowing that which others do not? Even (perhaps that should be especially) that which others don't care to know? I understand it a lot more with the young geeks here at Information Services: They're trying to establish pecking order and a little informational one-upsmanship helps them with that. But shouldn't we be able to outgrow that? Or is that just one of those features that defines the geek his whole life? Of is it a guy thing?

And why, oh why, do all of my posts tend to be filled with questions? Am I attempting to be Aristotilian, or am I just trying to encourage the sort of commentary that makes blogs so interesting? I think that that's the one feature that threatens my geek status more than anything: The willingness to use the question mark rather than favoring inflammatory declarative statements.

Monday, February 13, 2006

Thursday, February 09, 2006

"Good night, and good luck."

I saw this film last night. My reaction is a simple one. Go see it. Immediately. Tell your friends and family to see it. Tell them to tell their friends. Go see it, even if you have to spend your lunch money to do it. Then think about it.

A couple of quotes from Edward R. Murrow (not all from the film)

"We cannot defend freedom abroad by deserting it at home. "

"We will not walk in fear, one of another. We will not be driven by fear into an age of unreason if we dig deep in our history and doctrine and remember that we are not descended from fearful men, not from men who feared to write, to speak, to associate and to defend causes which were for the moment unpopular. We can deny our heritage and our history, but we cannot escape responsibility for the result. There is no way for a citizen of the Republic to abdicate his responsibility."

"If we confuse dissent with disloyalty — if we deny the right of the individual to be wrong, unpopular, eccentric or unorthodox — if we deny the essence of racial equality then hundreds of millions in Asia and Africa who are shopping about for a new allegiance will conclude that we are concerned to defend a myth and our present privileged status. Every act that denies or limits the freedom of the individual in this country costs us the . . . confidence of men and women who aspire to that freedom and independence of which we speak and for which our ancestors fought."

Thursday, February 02, 2006

Disillusionment

Man, that groundhog Phil is full of shit. It's 55 deg F here. Supposed to be 60 deg F tomorrow. 6 more weeks of winter my ass. If you can't trust a groundhog to predict the arrival of spring, what can you trust? Nothing and no one, that's what.

Monday, January 30, 2006

I am very childish

Whenever I randomly remember this exchange, it's always in this form:

Darth Vader: "The Circle is now complete. When I left you I was but the learner. Now I am the master."

Obi-wan: "Only a Master-bator, Darth."

Why is this? Discuss.

Thursday, January 12, 2006

N-E-G-L-E-C-T

That is all you get from me.

N-E-G-L-E-C-T

Oh, sock it to me, sock it to me , sock it to me , sock it to me , sock it to me , sock it to me , sock it to me , sock it to me , sock it to me. . .

(Just a little bit)

Thursday, December 22, 2005

Kick-ass Tree


tree2
Originally uploaded by hbot3000.
"Oh Kick-ass tree, oh Kick-ass tree, how much you do kick aaasss?"

I am all class. A few more tree pics if you click through to flickr.

Happy Holidays everyone! May your holiday greed by ever-sated!

Monday, December 19, 2005

Sign of the coming apocalypse

The Seattle Seahawks have the best record in the NFC at 12-2 and the second best record in the league (they trail only the Colts, their next opponent this weekend). Oh my God the earth quaked when I wrote that sentence.

Start stocking up on food and water now. This may also be a good time to have a place to meet or a plan in case of severe societal disruption. This isn't a drill people! Move! Move!

Wednesday, December 14, 2005

Tales to WoW you, part 2

Day 3, Brill (Ruminations on Unlife)

***************************

"How many Rot Hide Gnolls did we kill today?" I ask , as we sit surveying the carnage in the field below.

"I don't know. 40 maybe?" Karibou is wiping the blood and ichor off of his sword.

"Filthy buggars. I hope the apothecary will be happy with the embalming fluid we collected from them. Ooh, I think I'll ask him if he has enough extra for another embalming treatment. I think I'm starting to rot again."

"Dude . . .." Karibou shakes his head. Clearly it was more than he needed to know.

"So, what's up with your name?" I ask as look through all the potentially valuable rubbish I picked off the rot hides.

"What do you mean?"

"Karibou kind of sounds like someone who's in touch with nature, like a druid or something. It's just strange since, you know, our goal in unlife is not so much to be in touch with nature as it is to kill it and twist it into a something resembling our own hideous state of undeath."

Karibou shrugs and stands up. Clearly he's decided he has no back-story either. "Let's go back to town and give this crap to the apothecary," he says.

"God I hate Brill." I mutter as we lope breathlessly (literally) back towards town.

"I know, it's a fucking rat's nest," he shakes his head.

"You know, I understand that as magically reanimated corpses we don't really worry about comfort anymore, but still, you'd think someone would pick up a fucking hammer at some point and fix the gaping holes in the walls. Seriously, we're supposed to be at war with the alliance and here we are with buildings that look like they'll collapse the next time we get a breeze passing through."

"Tru dat."

"I mean, for god's sake, pretty much all we have to worry about anymore is the war with humans and brewing up a new plague to rid the world of them once and for all. But I mean, we don't need to eat, sleep, take baths, nothing. I mean, I've got a lot of fucking time on my hands these days, and I can only roam the forests killing rot hides so much before it starts to get a little dull, you know?"

Karibout nods, clearly, and somewhat ironically, already bored with the conversation.

"I mean, you'd think a few of us would be resurrected neat freaks and would spend all this time we got obsessively cleaning and fixing up the place. Don't you think?"

"I dunno, maybe. Oh hey, there it is," Karibou points ahead, clearly eager to change the conversation.

"It's as lovely as I remember," I say as we head down the hill and into town. God I hate Brill.

***********LATER*************

"You know, I think I'm going to Undercity for a few days," I say as we pocket the pittance the apothecary gave us for our troubles.

"Why's that?" Karibou asks.

"I'm thinking of picking up a trade of some sort to fill in the hours when we're not out killing things." I think, looking off in the distance towards the ruined castle.

"A trade? You mean like sewing?" He seems doubtful.

"Well, I don't think I'm going to learn sewing per se, but something."

"Well, you go learn your knitting. I'm going to stay here and, you know, fight threats to the Forsaken."

"Hah, you do that. See you in a few days."

"Later. Hey, knit me a sweater while you're there."

"Bastard." And with that, I trot off to Undercity to find my non-sewing tradeskill destiny.

Monday, December 05, 2005

Tales to WoW you, part 1

Presented for your amusement I bring you tales of the many adventures of Karibou (Eric) and Gulveris (me) in World of Warcraft. Many of the incidents and conversations you read in this post and others probably never happened. But they COULD have. In any case, dear reader, they are sure to astound and WoW you (I know, I've made that bad pun twice now, and no, I'm not any happier with it than you are). Read on, intrepid adventurer!

Note: I mostly intend these to be funny and not self-indulgent fan fiction. That said, this will likely have waaay too much self-indulgent fan fiction and be the death of this blog. Enjoy!


Day 1, Deathnell (In which Our Heroes are introduced)

I pull the cobwebs off of my eyes and sit up, bones creaking. I jump out of the coffin I had so gracefully been dumped in and assess the situation. I smell horrible, my jaw won't close and my fingers and toes are nothing but bones. Oh good. I also appear to be rotting, which I guess explains the smell. I think back to my last memory and decide I have no back story. That settled, I step out into the crap hole that is Deathnell.

"Sup." An equally dead warrior staggers up to me as I wander the dilapidated town. He is also rotting. "Want to team up?"

I nod, catching my head before it falls too far foward. "Sorry, newly undead," I pop my neck back into joint. "Sure, let's go kill something."

"Karibou" he extends a bony hand.

"Gulveris." And we trot off to kill something.

***** LATER ******

"Wait up, I need to eat some mushrooms and regain some health." Karibou searches the wolf's remains before sitting down. "Holy shit, this wolf was carrying a bastard sword."

"Really?" I sit down and pull out some bread and begin munching.

"Yeah. I'm gonna use it."

"Cool. You don't wonder why the wolf was carrying that type of thing?" Karibou shrugs. I look down at the bread I'm eating. It looks good. "Why do we like eating bread?"

"What do you mean?"

"We're undead, right?" I continue chewing. I'm not sure if I'm tasting bread, or just remembering the flavor. "Shouldn't we crave brains or something?"

"I don't know." Karibou stands up, wielding his new bastard sword. "What I want to know is, how do you chew with your jaw hanging half-off like that?"

I self-consciously close it with my hand. "Been wondering that myself."

"Okay, let's go kill something." Karibou runs off towards a nearby wolf, dragging his sword behind him in the dirt.

"Okay." I stand up and pull out my daggers. Time to bring the gift of death to a world that needs it.

*********************

Me: What do you think of the game so far.
Eric: It's okay.
Me: You mind if I chronicle our adventures on the blog?
Eric: . . . I suppose.
Me: I'm running out of things to write about.
Eric: I see. Let's go kill something.
Me: Okay.

Wednesday, November 30, 2005

I sleep now

A few quick reviews in lieu of actual interesting posting.

The Lost Skeleton of Cadavra is B-movie spoofing at its finest. I laughed quite heartily throughout, although it begins to wear at the end. Still, it has many classic lines that you will want to repeat over and over with your friends in public until the people haven't seen it yet get annoyed and tell you to shut up.


Alfred Hitchcock presents, season 1 is 39 episodes of entertainment. I find it quite enjoyable. And 39 episodes for one season? That is 2 normal seasons and 3 first seasons today.

Smallville is pretty good this season. Slightly less angst, a lot more comic book type action. Nice to see James Marsters back too. And the episode of Aquaman was classic. Rumor has it that they're going to do Aquaman as a TV series, although it won't be a spinoff of Smallville.

Of the 3 new Alien Invasion series, Surface is by far the best. In terms of actually moving the plot forward, weird and scary moments and great special effects for a TV series. Invasion is okay, but it feels like the plot is inching along. Like all they had was the premise and don't know what to do with it from there. Threshold is okay, sometimes it's really good, sometimes not. It's certainly the grossest. It will probably be the first to be cancelled though. Lost is still entertaining, but I still need to be convinced that the writers are going somewhere interesting with the show.

I went to a midnight showing of Harry Potter and found it pretty enjoyable. Although I continue to think of Harry as a mediocre individual, only able to do the things he does by cheating and the help of other people. But that's just a nitpick.