Very strange vibes out there this month. I am working on being less of a crazy person, but I've been also getting a lot of "time to build something new" messages if only by virtue of the fact that all of my old connections seem to be more or less done with me at the moment. I have exactly one close friendship that feels "good", a bunch more that are just a ? and a few more that have been moved to the "bridge burnt" column this month. I could leave this town, or find something new here, but I think I just need to frankly confront the fact that the 14 years or so that I've been in Portland have amounted to exactly nothing in terms of my personal connections and it's time to stop trying to salvage some of them. So that's fun.
In other news, I have started sleeping in an actual bed again, as opposed to the hammock I thought it would be fun to sleep in "for a week." and i have made some progress on getting the rest of the room in order which I am excited about. I would like to live in a space that does not look like movie shorthand for "character is at a low point" and will probably be investing in therapy sooner rather than later.
Still awaiting some divine epiphany on who I am, what I'm here for, and where I belong, but maybe something will occur to me in the meantime.
