I broke up with my last boyfriend 7ish* years ago, and then kind of gave up. let's just take it as a given that I should have been in therapy most of that time even though I've been too cheap to actually pay for it. that wasn't his fault, it's just a choice I made. I decided I could spare a month of "Goblin Mode" as the kids are calling it, and 84 months later am starting to think this wasn't a good life choice. Beware Goblin Mode kids, apathy has its own stubborn momentum.
I can make few claims to time well spent. Spending time well is not the true spirit of Goblin Mode. And I've gotten the exactly the kind of life I would expect after investing nothing in it. And yet, for some mysterious reason, I feel unsatisfied. Strange.
I do not know myself, and so I do not know where or who I fit with. It's as simple as that, I think. Don't know what I'm running from, don't know what I'm running towards. Which is how you end up running in circles. Goblin mode!
*Maybe eight? Idk, time has no meaning anymore.
