Note: I mostly intend these to be funny and not self-indulgent fan fiction. That said, this will likely have waaay too much self-indulgent fan fiction and be the death of this blog. Enjoy!
Day 1, Deathnell (In which Our Heroes are introduced)
I pull the cobwebs off of my eyes and sit up, bones creaking. I jump out of the coffin I had so gracefully been dumped in and assess the situation. I smell horrible, my jaw won't close and my fingers and toes are nothing but bones. Oh good. I also appear to be rotting, which I guess explains the smell. I think back to my last memory and decide I have no back story. That settled, I step out into the crap hole that is Deathnell.
"Sup." An equally dead warrior staggers up to me as I wander the dilapidated town. He is also rotting. "Want to team up?"
I nod, catching my head before it falls too far foward. "Sorry, newly undead," I pop my neck back into joint. "Sure, let's go kill something."
"Karibou" he extends a bony hand.
"Gulveris." And we trot off to kill something.
***** LATER ******
"Wait up, I need to eat some mushrooms and regain some health." Karibou searches the wolf's remains before sitting down. "Holy shit, this wolf was carrying a bastard sword."
"Really?" I sit down and pull out some bread and begin munching.
"Yeah. I'm gonna use it."
"Cool. You don't wonder why the wolf was carrying that type of thing?" Karibou shrugs. I look down at the bread I'm eating. It looks good. "Why do we like eating bread?"
"What do you mean?"
"We're undead, right?" I continue chewing. I'm not sure if I'm tasting bread, or just remembering the flavor. "Shouldn't we crave brains or something?"
"I don't know." Karibou stands up, wielding his new bastard sword. "What I want to know is, how do you chew with your jaw hanging half-off like that?"
I self-consciously close it with my hand. "Been wondering that myself."
"Okay, let's go kill something." Karibou runs off towards a nearby wolf, dragging his sword behind him in the dirt.
"Okay." I stand up and pull out my daggers. Time to bring the gift of death to a world that needs it.
*********************
Me: What do you think of the game so far.
Eric: It's okay.
Me: You mind if I chronicle our adventures on the blog?
Eric: . . . I suppose.
Me: I'm running out of things to write about.
Eric: I see. Let's go kill something.
Me: Okay.
Somehow, I'd assumed that a wolf would be an ally to the dark undead, but I guess that's not necessarily so. It's an unfair generalization based on the fairytale myths of the "big bad wolf," and disregards the social complexity of the wolf pack. Besides, the undead hate the way the wolves keep running off with random bones and burying them.
ReplyDeleteWhere DID that wolf carry that sword, anyway?
I want to hear more about how a reanimated collection of bones and ichor can use a firearm without the recoil tearing you to bits.
I think that the undead in this world aren't really connected to nature, at least in it's current incarnation. Rather, they want the whole world to be a sickly, undead type of nature. So pretty much anything living is fair game. So when the local apothecary says he needs 6 wolf paws to make some concoction or other, you don't feel too bad about the grisly business.
ReplyDeleteThe undead get along with the other horde races pretty well as a matter of survival, but they all can be a little grisly. I've been on some dark quests for troll shamans.