Bounty understand my life

survey
Originally uploaded by hbot3000

I was mindlessly filling out a Tivo survey while eating lunch for a chance at a free HD tivo when I hit this page. If you'll look at my answers you'll see how far I got before the questions and my answers to them sunk in. They are clearly trying to assess how much of their advertising I mindlessly absorbed like some sort of brainless consumer drone which I find profoundly irritating. I am more than the sum of my consuming habits you bastards!

Still, who knows how deeply that innocent looking tivo has infiltrated my life. Suspicious that insufficiently enthusiastic responses to the product would lead to some sort of Clockwork Orangeish reprogramming I answered a neutral 3 to all of them and pressed submit, even thought I will not.

Fun facts

Here's a fun fact I bet you didn't know about me: I stay up late too much. I HATE going to sleep. It's some type of neurosis. I even wrote a dramatic 4 page story about being such a chronic oversleeper that I sleep through the apocalypse, which will not be distributed on this site (if you're real good I may bring out my trust poem pen and try to top some of my angsty high school epics. You're welcome in advance). So Zombie H and Phoenix H are now duking it out for control of the sleep cycle. Last night Zombie H won with a shocking 5am bed time compounded by a bird that decided to start tearing paper as he was trying to go to sleep (a bird who, shockingly, responded to reason). Tonight, Phoenix H "wins" by pushing that back to 3am. Progress.

A thought: Is it possible there's just nothing in Reno worth waking up for?

Mash me up

I can't really take credit for this. A local friend of mine recently introduced me to mashups. The immediate question that hit me was, "How on earth did I only now become aware of this?" Searching for mashups on YouTube and listening to tracks downloaded from the Bootie Blog gave me hours of giggles. On the blog, click the "Top 10" tag to get a list of downloadable tracks for the last year or more. They've also released three CDs, all of which are downloadable.

For your enjoyment, one of my favorite blast-from-the-past mashups, "Boulevard of Broken Songs."

Random picture of the day

I don't know why I found this amusing, but I did. Fake fertility goddess at the aquarium in vegas. Because, you know, what trip to the aquarium is complete without a fertility goddess?

Invention I need

It occurs to me that I need a better alarm clock. But not just louder or more reliable. No, I need a leap forward in alarm clock design. Not only do I need it to wake me up at a certain time, I also need it to knock me out 8 hours before. Now that's something I would pay for.

Super Mega Vegas Trip Journal

Friday, Oct 31.

(times largely approximate with an error of several hours)

1:50, fly into vegas. Mood: excited. Also happy plane was airworthy. Note to self: grow wings so I can avoid airlines in the future.

3:00 pm: Have dinner with L and J who graciously put up with my blather. Feel awkward. Probably am awkward. Justin Long is apparently sitting in cafe with us. Want to look around wildly to find him but don't. Content to breathe his air. Will not wash these lungs again.

Early evening: Tag along with L and J and L to go last minute clothes shopping. Do not find good rockabillly but it is revealed that what I brought is probably appropriate. Hooray! Have talk with L, L's sister. Good talk. Nice to finally not feel awkward.

Late Evening: L and J and I attempt to find halloween party action. Largely unsuccessful in getting into clubs, but meet lots of L and Js friends for friendly drinks. They all seem nice. Still feel awkward.

Late, late evening: Apparently most couples out and about in Vegas got the same memo, women are dressed as the sluttiest furries imaginable, guys are dressed as giant douches. Oh wait, the guys didn't dress up, they're just dressed normally and ARE giant douches. And no, it doesn't look at all predatory to have fairly sober guys escorting completely smashed slut bunnies up until their rooms. Side note to the side note: I may be a prude.

Saturday Nov 1st:

3pm: Wake up. 12 hours sleep. Hooray!

7:30 pm: Make it to wedding chapel with 3 minutes to spare. Am shocked to see old flame C with baby until I remember she married into L and L's family. Funny side note, used to date L's sister, L. Then old flame marries into L's family. Additionally, L that I used to date marries an N (who I like), another old flame recently married anther N. (who I do not like). Suspect life is laughing at me. Anyway, have good, non-awkward conversation with C. I may be growing up.

8:00 pm: Elvis wedding more spectacularly entertaining than I would have thought possible. Smoke effects, pink cadillac, dancing, it's fantastic. Best wedding I've attended.

9:00pm to midnight: Reception is nice, has good food. Exotic Japanese food is fun. Not good at parties. Feel awkward throughout, manage not to spill drink or food on self which is major accomplishment. Have nice conversations with C and husband D and with L and N.

Sunday Nov. 2:

Midnight to 5am: Crushing vertigo and acrophobia. Suddenly realize that under room is one room and then 100 feet of air. Cannot get thought out of head. Cannot sleep. May have anxiety problems.

11 am: Wake up after maybe 4 hours good sleep. Karmic repayment for bragging about 12 hours sleep all yesterday evening I'm sure. Go hang out with L and N. Have lunch in casino, then attend aquarium. Aquarium is fun. Manage not to be eaten by sharks or Komodo dragon. Charlie Brown karma successfully dodged. Sea Turtles favorite. Remind me of discworld. Note to self: may be nerd.

3pm: Get to airport with plenty of time to spare. This turns out to be unfortunate because my plane is delayed by 3 hours. Rocket scientists at Las Vegas Airport decide to close all runways but one down. Luckily, I have digital devices to entertain me in the midst of crowded and cranky airline passengers. A nerd is always prepared.

9pm: Arrive home. Hooray! Good trip. Thanks to L and J for inviting me.

Video of the day

It's been a herculean effort not to turn this blog into a platform to complain about my last relationship, but today I'll do it in video form. This ben folds video really resonates with me with regards to my last relationship. I can't embed it because that's been disabled by request, but please check the link out. Apart from my emotional connection it happens to be a really good song from a really good album. Don't be distracted by the Tim and Eric video production. I watch those guys religiously and they always make me laugh my ass off (hmm, I "get" chubby white boys with a bizarre sense of humor . . . strange) but for the uninitiated the video itself may just seem . . . really odd. Anyway, don't let the weirdness of the video distract you from the brilliance of the song.

Beast

New favorite album. This isn't an official video but you can list to the song in video here. Loving the full album too. Kind of vibes with the end of time dogma I learned as a kid. Of course, every time I'm singing along and get to the "I love the beast, ya'll" I reflexively check the mirror for a 666 on my forehead. Ah, indoctrination, how you linger.

Aftermath

I am very pleased that I voted, that the person I voted for was elected president, and that Nevada turned blue this year. For once I lived in a state where I feel like my vote counted and that's a good feeling. Now I'm just sitting back and waiting for the conservatives to suddenly rediscover the concepts of limits on the executive branch and how to howl endlessly over tiny issues for 8 years like they did with Clinton.

Good times.

By Special Request

Because Australia demands it, another serious reminder about voting.

Video of they day - Josh Pyke

Straight from Australia, as introduced to me by my Aussie friends, is my new favorite artist Josh Pyke. This is a nice song, made all the sweeter, oddly, by the choice of words at the end of the chorus. You'll know what I mean when you watch it.

Drill, baby, Drill!

I wonder how long it's going to take for the porn industry to come out with a porno of the same name as this post title?

I'm not a big fan of the pornography industry because I consider it de-humanizing and I don't think the actors and actresses walk away from it emotionally health and unscathed, but that said, I do find their constant attempts to parody major movie titles or pop culture kind of amusing. In college the local video store seemed to traffic in those silly titles. My roommate at the time begged me every day for a few weeks for 10 bucks so he could go buy edward penishands (which I never gave him). But the conversation made me laugh every time.

I'm not really going anywhere with this, it just occurred to me today that there must be work going on at this very moment to turn that slogan into an election campaign themed porno.

Statistics I am interested in

I want to know the percentage of straight men, who cannot use the product "Ben gay" because it makes them feel uncomfortable. Then I want to know how many straight, homophobic men cannot use the product "ben gay" because it makes them angry and uncomfortable. Lastly, I want to know how many straight, homophobic men named Ben cannot use the product "ben gay" because "What the hell do they know?".

Get on it science.

Who is Goose?

Did you know that John McCain and Sarah Palin are Mavericks? Not only that, they're a team of Mavericks. They're a gaggle of Mavericks. A murder of Mavericks. The most Mavericky Mavericks that every Mavericked. They'll Maverick your socks off. Stand back, they have a Maverick! Granted, they have no specific policies to enact once in office, but rest assured, they'll Maverick the government to within an inch of it's life. That's just how Mavericks roll, with seat of the pants, fly by night Mavericking. Now, whether this means heads of "Washington Insiders" who have been at this for longer than 5 weeks on pikes in front of the Whitehouse or an odd predilection to wearing chaps and cowboy hats to cabinet meetings only a Maverick can tell you. In conclusion, Maverick off Maverick-fuckers! These two have a campaign to Maverick! Yeeeee-haaaawwwww!

Rolling stones

This article by Matt Taibbi is just brutal on Palin. I don't quite agree with everything said, but if you dislike the mccain campaign immensely and don't want Palin anywhere near the white house, this is a very cathartic article.

Red Rum

So, it looks like I'll be staying at the hotel that they filmed the Shining at for a conference in November. That should be interesting . . ..

Quote of the day

"When will man learn that all races are equally inferior to robots." -- Bender

Quotes of the day

"Fry, try to understand. You're a man, I'm a woman. We're just two different people!" -- Leela

"I bought champagne. I opened the bottle. What does a guy have to do?" -- Fry

Quote of the Day

"PLAGUES have had better opening nights than this!" -- Calculon

Yeah, Uh, I am a Scientist

I listen to this in the morning sometimes to pump myself up for work