During many ages there were witches. The Bible said so. The Bible commanded that they should not be allowed to live. Therefore the Church, after doing its duty in but a lazy and indolent way for eight hundred years, gathered up its halters, thumbscrews, and firebrands, and set about its holy work in earnest. She worked hard at it night and day during nine centuries and imprisoned, tortured, hanged, and burned whole hordes and armies of witches, and washed the Christian world clean with their foul blood.
Then it was discovered that there was no such thing as witches, and never had been. One does not know whether to laugh or to cry. Who discovered that there was no such thing as a witch - the priest, the parson? No, these never discover anything. At Salem, the parson clung pathetically to his witch text after the laity had abandoned it in remorse and tears for the crimes and cruelties it has persuaded them to do. The parson wanted more blood, more shame, more brutalities; it was the unconsecrated laity that stayed his hand. In Scotland the parson killed the witch after the magistrate had pronounced her innocent; and when the merciful legislature proposed to sweep the hideous laws against witches from the statute book, it was the parson who came imploring, with tears and imprecations, that they be suffered to stand.
There are no witches. The witch text remains; only the practice has changed. Hell fire is gone, but the text remains. Infant damnation is gone, but the text remains. More than two hundred death penalties are gone from the law books, but the texts that authorized them remain.
-- Mark Twain, Bible Teaching and Religious Practice
Wow, this essay from Mark Twain was fucking beautiful. Where was I educated, that I'm only just now reading this? I'm tempted to assume my mostly-Adventist education neglected a few crucial tomes that are critical of the christian faith. In any case, it is becoming increasingly clear that I have a lot of educating myself to make up for both my upbringing (to some degree) and my last 15 years of intellectual laziness (to a much larger degree). I have a growing list of homework, and Mark Twain's essays have just now rocketed to the top of the list.
The more I learn, the humbler I get. Every big thought that I think can change the world has already been said by someone smarter than me, decades ago. It's astonishing to me how much good and reasonable thinking back in the day has either been ignored or forgotten. In any case, it doesn't matter if I said it first (he said to his inner 5-year-old), what matters is I use my very small megaphone to amplify good and important ideas as best I can. And the congregation said, "well duh."
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