It's a strange feeling, trying to break out of my old habits. Every night I go to bed with a clear idea of how I want tomorrow to go, with a long list of things that would make me feel good and satisfied to accomplish. And every day I wake up and do the same stupid things, on the same stupid schedule, in the same stupid way. And through my pan-dimensional port hole, I can see parallel me doing those other things, and achieving the goals I laid out the night before, in ways that I seem reluctant to, and I think, "why can't I make the decisions that that guy makes? What's so special about him that he just gets up and does all those things?"
It is a common and popular fact that people rarely change their personalities on a whim, or a dime or a bet. Past a certain age, changing your behavior, plowing new ruts into the grey matter of your brain, just becomes more difficult. Or at least, this is true for me. And I'm basically offended every day that I can't just flip a switch and go from apathetic, depressed under-achiever to the fantastic adventures of hyper-productive, enthusiastically happy, casually cool parallel me.
I am desperate to converge these timelines (as is everyone tired of me talking about them). I gaze at my doppleganger across the infinite/microscopic void of parallel time-space with envious eyes and imagine how I can merge my world with his without destroying all of reality. Which is perhaps what is holding me back, this irrational feeling that, should I start to change and merge with parallel me, my world will somehow explode. And I suppose it might. But maybe sometimes, in the name of science, truth and progress, you just have to push the blinking red button just below the letters "collide worlds" and see what happens.*
*Recovered from the notes of notorious scientist Soylent H, Age 36.**
**(this post brought to you by the Time Cube and the letter Pi)***
***Yes, sometimes I work out my issues in strange ways.
No comments:
Post a Comment