video of the day

This is really good advice on how to talk to someone about any behavior you consider unacceptable. Focus on what happened, not what it says about them as a person. I guess I knew this but sometimes forget. Also, his video on Roman Polanski is worth watching. And yes, he focuses on what he did, not what kind of person that must make him. But this is actually a good example. I'm having a hard time not demonizing Roman Polanski for doing a very bad thing. But I think this is at the core of a lot of our muddled arguments and constant finger-pointing in this culture. There's not a lot of "you did this specific thing that I think was bad" and a lot more of "you are all bad people for doing this one thing I don't like" and there's nothing to be gained from the second conversation, as people just get defensive and the tribe forms up to defend each side. I don't know how to bust this down though, I'm just tired of the people in charge getting away with bad and immoral decisions because no one wants to say someone else is a bad person in Washington. It's not about whether they are good people, it's about whether the actions they take and the words they say are acceptable behavior.