Thursday, March 17, 2016

Being is believing

I know I adopt the position of liberal scold far too often, but I'm really not on board with the righteous crusade to disrupt Trump's rallies. Not only is a terrible idea strategically, he actually has the high ground on this one issue currently because he is, to the best of my knowledge, NOT sending his supporters to disrupt democratic rallies.

I don't really weep too many tears for a disrupted Trump rally, although the optics are truly terrible, but I do worry about the hypocritical self-righteous streak on the left sometimes. It's becoming clearer to me that this poisonous idea that these are unusual times and it's important to put our usual moral values aside is not a phenomenon limited to republicans or conservatives. This was the justification for torture and how many other immoral acts ("there's a ticking time bomb, maybe, so we just have to kill innocent people with drones!"), and for me the issue was not that the conservatives had just chosen a poor reason to put aside their morals, it's that putting aside your morals for any reason betrays a fundamental disbelief that higher morals are actually better and more effective in achieving a better world. On the liberal side, this seems to thrive as well, with the conceit that only a liberal can truly decide who is and is not a monster, and therefore are the only people able to fairly decide when to abandon their moral principles. Which is the same madness, just maybe in lesser degree. I agree Donald Trump is frightening, I don't agree that unusual times means it's okay to skip straight from name-calling ("how did calling him names not work??"), to provoking physical confrontations at rallies.  Clearly not every incident at a trump rally was intentionally provoked, but you'd have to be blind not to see how many clearly are.

I truly believe you can win people over, it just takes time. It takes genuine empathy. It takes full acknowledgement of their humanity. I think even people like Trump himself can be talked down, but starting off with "you and your followers are monsters" negates that possibility entirely. Liberals claim to understand how counter-productive demonizing the other is, but do it at the drop of a hat themselves. I think the most important test of liberal values is when it's REALLY difficult to adhere to those values. Because I believe those values are not just nice fairytales, i believe they are truly the best guidelines to the best possible resolution for all involved, even when things get scary and it's easier to and more emotionally satisfying to resort to demonization and aggressive conflict. I believe it's possible to effectively resist hateful rhetoric and dangerous movements without compromising any of these morals "because these are unusual times," and without demonizing opponents and that it is, in fact, the better option for all involved.

We've just watched anyone afraid of terrorists throw their morals out the window for the last 15 years because "terrorists are uniquely dangerous," even though it's completely obvious that this state of affairs will not be changing in the near future.  So they've effectively thrown away their higher morals for more a expedient, incredibly violent moral structure purely out of fear more or less permanently. Why the left is so eager to do the same exact thing with Trump and his supporters, I don't know. No, no one's talking about bombing them, but they're starting to adopt the same, "you just can reason with these people" and "we have to stop them, by force if necessary" memes which are counter-productive. If you can see how demonizing the entire muslim world based on the actions of terrorists is counter-productive, you can see how demonizing Trump's supporters based on the actions of a few is counter-productive too.

This may not be everyone's take, but we didn't win the gay rights battle by telling everyone who didn't like gay people they were haters, we won it by millions of brave LGBT people coming out of the closet and standing up for their rights, but, and this is very important, remaining in relationship with people who needed and maybe still need time to get used to the idea. People started to realize gays were okay when they got the chance to hang around them a bit and the world didn't end. Changing hearts and minds doesn't happen overnight, you can't just burn the ladder behind you once you've decided you have enough of a critical social mass to just tell the stragglers who haven't come around yet to go fuck themselves with no social repercussions. That shit's not only counter-productive, it's immoral.

It is your job, as an idealistic person who clearly has better morals than your opponent (as we all believe we do), to keep the high ground. This means you must do what your opponents seem unable or unwilling to do: respect their humanity, firmly reject bad ideas while not demonizing them for holding them, embrace a little humility about your own views, and listen to theirs while attempting to empathize as much as possible. 

As tempting as it is to believe the self-righteous mic-drop speak is the  most effective tool at effecting real change, it's just not. Quick, imagine a conservative giving you a mic-drop speech about gay marriage or something.  Imagine their condescending tone, their lack of interest in your viewpoint, their indignant lecture filled with confident self-righteousness. Imagine how much you will recoil from their body language and tone and presumptive attitude. Whether the argument is better or not is irrelevant when you deliver it like a complete asshole.

People don't believe peace works because few are every really brave to truly try it. When we get scared we reach for the gun or righteous violence in some form. And we lionize the armed warrior who deals the violence so righteously. But the bravest motherfucker in the room is always the one reaching out with an open hand, even though they might get shot or hurt for their trouble, because they believe if enough of us do that, the threat of violence goes away and the underlying humanity of our opponents begins to shine through. I strongly believe they are not wrong. We can't expect people to behave like kind human beings unless we give them the space to behave like kind human beings.

Making peace is always a risk. Always. If you believe you're better than they are, then prove it. Be the bravest motherfucker in the room.

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