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First, some concessions. The Democrats and their supporters have been unbearably smug at times. Once liberals felt they had the cultural momentum and had been endowed by gods unseen as unstoppably on "the right side of history" they mostly stopped any pretense of trying to convince people and started delivering a message that more or less boiled down to "join the only moral side you hateful pieces of shit," which, as I have been trying to tell people, is not a message the unconverted are going to be inclined to buy into. Bullied into maybe, but who wants to win that way? Conservatives had not made kindness easy, nor are they shining champions in the "kindness to the other" department, "but you treat people like shit so I get to treat you like shit" is an argument stuck on stupid from both sides and it spirals into nothing good.
In addition, democrats ran a bad candidate and a bad campaign. Trump, for all his many, many faults at least had the presence to make a slogan that referenced something bigger than himself. "I'm with her" was a slogan for a vanity candidate. It pointed to what you could do for Clinton, not what Clinton could do for you. They completely misread how fed up people are with "business as usual," and trust me, I am too, and put the thumb on the scale for Hillary because it was her turn. And then ran with that attitude running into the election. As it turns out, people don't like it when you just assume you should win without making much of an argument for why you should. I would have preferred Bernie, or even someone to the left of Bernie, or, god forbid, some viable 3rd parties, because I want some fresh blood in government too, but I didn't have those options. I would have enjoyed a conservative option that seemed reasonable but that wasn't on the table either, so I voted Hillary. It seemed the least bad option in a situation where there were no great options. But she ran a bad campaign. So bad she couldn't beat a reality TV-star with zero political experience. And I accept that he won, GOP efforts to curb the vote in the few states and an FBI investigator with wavy hands and nothing to show aside, more or less fair and square.
That said. Donald Trump is not a good man. His obvious lack of qualifications aside, he ran a venal, vulgar, mean-spirited campaign, and I only say that because I've listened to what he's said and watched what he's done for a year and a half. He's hurled insults and accusations and childish retorts and so many lies it was hard to keep track. My dad once had a student who was a compulsive liar. He watched him break a window right in front of him and confronted him on it, but the student replied, "No, Mr. R, I didn't do that." "Well, I saw you do it." "Nope, I didn't do that." That's my overwhelming impression of Donald Trump. Show him a tape of him lying and he'll just calmly deny it happened at all. The debates alone had multiple incidents just like that.
If people describe him a petulant bully it's only because he's behaved that way for years, on stage, in writing, on video. a dozen women came forward alleging sexual harassment. He's on tape bragging about all the groping he can get away with as a powerful celebrity. Not to mention all the race-baiting. Promising to keep mexicans and muslims out. The KKK loves him. Asserting again shortly before the election that the central park 5 should have been executed, long after DNA evidence exonerated them. It's fair to say not all of his supporters are racists, there's no basis to even claim the majority are, but I'll be goddamned if I'm going to pretend there isn't a racial animus in his message when I can see and hear it with my own ears and eyes. Nor am I going to pretend he and his movement have been misunderstood when I've seen the harassment of minorities and women from his supporters with my own eyes. I've seen the chants at rallies. I've seen the armed guards the press hired to keep themselves safe at his rallies. Donald Trump has spent the last year and half showing me exactly who he is, and friends, I take him at his word.
I believe we are in for a bad time. I believe Trump voters have made a terrible mistake in choosing a hero. I believe Trump fights for Trump first and last. I never seen behavior in him that I would describe as "selfless." There is no evidence he's ever donated to a charity that wasn't Trump-related. He certainly doesn't have a temperment I would describe as presidential. All a foreign leader needs to do is mention he has tiny hands and watch him get red in the face and wait for the ensuing impulsive over-reaction. It may just be an angrily-worded tweet, but hey, that's just how our new president rolls.
Liberals are scared right now because he has fostered an atmosphere of hate and suspicion towards minorities that some, let's assume, minority of his followers may act on. You were mad that liberals thought you were hateful pieces of shit (and that's admittedly a maddening attitude to be confronted with). Liberals are afraid their minority friends are going to be killed because enough of you are willing to look the other way. Is that overly hysterical? Maybe, but like it or not there is some history here that justifies the concern.
LGBT like myself are worried a man who chose Mike Pence as a VP are going to have their rights taken away again. Controversial things like the right to marry the adult, consenting person you love and the right to be employed while openly homosexual. Trans individuals are worried about their rights to use a public bathroom (hint: they want a quiet place to pee like the rest of you. They don't care about your business.). Are those fears going to be born out? God I hope not (and I see some hysteria on the left right now that seems overblown), but given the tenor of the campaign and the rhetoric coming from Trump for years now, we have good reason to believe life is going to get harder, especially for those of us who are a little different.
I thought about going all self-righteous on you and declaring Trump voters irrideemable, that's not fair. I think they've made a bad choice they will come to regret, but it's not my place to punish people for their vote (obviously), and like I mentioned at the beginning, liberals have some serious, serious soul-searching to do on their own on how they treat people and what kind of inspiring message they're going to present going forward. Any party that's been losing so many state legislatures and governorships and now the presidency needs grapple with the fact that they're doing something wrong. And to be honest, I suspect living under a President Trump and living with the knowledge that you voted for him will be punishment enough. But do I understand why so many "good christian people" could vote for such a transparently vulgar, unchristian man? No, no I do not.
Here's the thing though, going forward. You control the presidency, congress, and are on the verge of dominating the supreme court for a generation. For the first time in my adult life, I would like to see conservatives take responsibility for the consequences of their actions and hold their leaders accountable. If your president is plagued with scandals, that's on you. If Obamacare is repealed and healthcare isn't suddenly sunshine and roses because they don't have a real plan to replace it, that's on you. If the economy craters because of austerity measure or tax cuts for the wealthy, that's on you. If we go to war, that's on you. If the war goes badly, that's on you too. Because I'm tired of the endless finger-pointing at every convenient scapegoat and now that you run it all, you don't get to do that. And considering the unprecedented obstructionism of republicans in the Obama years, you don't get to complain about that either. If you're going to be the party of suit-wearing grown-ups then fucking act like it. Similarly, if liberals consider themselves the standard-beares of a kinder, compelling, more evolved future, then they need to fucking act like it too. I admit democrats/liberals/progressives have some work to do on themselves but goddamn it you need to admit you guys do too. Claiming to be on the right side of history is not enough. Claiming to love Jesus is not enough. Do more. Do better. Believe people when they tell you how your behavior affects them. Consider the possibility that you're wrong.
At this point, I don't know who started with the smug assholery first, but we're all locked in a death spiral because we can't admit we might be wrong and we can't see ourselves in the other half anymore and friends that leads nowhere good. There's very little room for reconciliation and kindness in demonization, and acres of room for violence, despair and misery there. Literally, it leads to death if you're not careful. If your opponent is not human, then how bad should you feel if they die? That's the scary territory we've been edging towards for years now.
I'm sick to my stomach about President Trump. But I'm willing to admit that good man or not, he could bring about a new and beautiful age for us all. I think it unlikely given his unsubtle displays of character, but I'm willing to believe what my own eyes tell me should that come to pass. I guess the question I'm asking is, if Trump turns out to be as incompetent, divisive and dangerous as liberals fear, are conservatives willing to admit they were wrong too?
At this point, I have little hope things will get better before they get worse, but manoman would I love to be surprised. You've made a huge, reckless gamble with President Trump. We're all understandably nervous. I hope to god it pays off.
You're a good writer, and more importantly a careful thinker (IMO). Being a careful thinker doesn't make thinking easier. I think we sometimes forget that struggling doesn't necessarily mean we're doing something wrong.
ReplyDeleteSomething I've come to realize is that trying to find good thinking is like looking for gold. It's out there. If you look hard enough you'll find it. But finding only worthless rocks, you can't argue or reason with the rocks into becoming gold. It doesn't work that way.
We like to think, despite all evidence to the contrary (including mountains of scientific evidence) that people are open-minded, and that given the same factual information and set of circumstances reasonable people will come to the same conclusions. It's just not true. It's a little like saying that everything you put in a toaster and toast will come out toast. Only what started as bread becomes toast.
We get caught up in a mindset of trying to convince other people of things. It is one of my critical failings and the single largest component of every failure in my life, of which there are many. But, believe it or not, from a practical standpoint, it is entirely unnecessary. I have to remind myself of that. But when I do, it works. The problem is that convincing others is an impossible, never-ending preoccupation.
You can go for a walk without convincing the rest of the world that you going for a walk is a good idea. It wouldn't work to ask for permission or buy-in from everyone else. We'd never go for another walk.
That doesn't mean that I think people can do just whatever they want in the name of "you be you" or whatever ever silly thing we like to use as a justification. Everything starts with our own standards and goals, and those imposed on us by the society in which we live (legal, ethical). And that's just the beginning. There are other obligations we make to ourselves and others, and there is the responsibility that goes along with decisions already made. But all of this is within us and depends on no one else.
But what about the things that depend on others? What about all of the good we could do collectively if only… Well we could put an end to climate change immediately if only the laws of physics would be willing to work with us a little bit. It doesn't work that way and we don't spend a lot of time thinking along those lines. People are just forces of nature with a face. A person is what it is. As climate change demonstrates, everything changes and profoundly so. But it doesn't change overnight. People change over the course of their lifetime, or in response to some abrupt, extreme external influence (again, like rocks). But it's not something anyone should actively wait for.
Anyway, great posts, this one and the next.