I have no idea where i fit in the world anymore, nor the faintest idea what I'm doing.
I've basically found no place that makes sense to me since leaving my religion and I'm not going back. My religion was structured and purpose-filled but dystopian in its fundamentaist authoritarianism. The secular world is freer, but chaos, with an anti-pathy to purpose beyond capitalism and self-interest.
Who do you think you are to struggle with existential questions and doubt in any way other that alone, in quiet desperation?
So everyone scavenges for purpose and community as best they can.
I don't understand it. I don't understand my place in it. I don't like the sense of helplessness that inspires.
I don't like how much I don't try to change things.
I'd walk the earth, but I don't know Kung Fu.
So there's that awkward fact about me.
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