Dis-spirited

I just got back from watching "The Spirit". You know, I think I've had enough of Scarlett Johansson for one lifetime. I may be getting close to leaving Frank Miller behind too. You know, I can't tell if he's just a cynical writer who knows who his audience is, or if his perception of women was cemented for life when he was 12 years old.

Promethean Fire

I can't recommend Getting Off: Pornography and the end of Masculinity enough, especially to my male friends. I found I agreed with all of it and that the author was inside my head ( or I was inside his) but make no mistake it's a very challenging read. It was recommended to me by a friend and it was like promethean fire. You can't help but notice when prometheus gives you fire. Anyway, should you read it, you may find the author too harsh or be unwilling or unable to buy into the author's premise (I find I do entirely, even though I'm still wrestling with it). Regardless, I think everyone should be exposed to the argument presented therein (which is how the friend who recommended it to me feels). You can thank me later.

Things that irritate me

I don't like web sites that passive-aggressively try to trap me into looking at their page, either by popping up windows with intentionally misleading dialog or by freaking disabling the close window button on my browser. Why would you think anyone in their right mind is going to react positively to that behavior? Grrr. Yes, this just happened to me and I am a slightly cranky about it. Passive Aggressive advertising beware! Your doom has come!

I am a horrible sibling

My brother's birthday is today and I completely forgot, despite the fact that he told me yesterday. I will take him bowling tonight or something to make up for it. Yes, I know, I am a thrillseeker.

Bounty understand my life

survey
Originally uploaded by hbot3000

I was mindlessly filling out a Tivo survey while eating lunch for a chance at a free HD tivo when I hit this page. If you'll look at my answers you'll see how far I got before the questions and my answers to them sunk in. They are clearly trying to assess how much of their advertising I mindlessly absorbed like some sort of brainless consumer drone which I find profoundly irritating. I am more than the sum of my consuming habits you bastards!

Still, who knows how deeply that innocent looking tivo has infiltrated my life. Suspicious that insufficiently enthusiastic responses to the product would lead to some sort of Clockwork Orangeish reprogramming I answered a neutral 3 to all of them and pressed submit, even thought I will not.

Fun facts

Here's a fun fact I bet you didn't know about me: I stay up late too much. I HATE going to sleep. It's some type of neurosis. I even wrote a dramatic 4 page story about being such a chronic oversleeper that I sleep through the apocalypse, which will not be distributed on this site (if you're real good I may bring out my trust poem pen and try to top some of my angsty high school epics. You're welcome in advance). So Zombie H and Phoenix H are now duking it out for control of the sleep cycle. Last night Zombie H won with a shocking 5am bed time compounded by a bird that decided to start tearing paper as he was trying to go to sleep (a bird who, shockingly, responded to reason). Tonight, Phoenix H "wins" by pushing that back to 3am. Progress.

A thought: Is it possible there's just nothing in Reno worth waking up for?

Mash me up

I can't really take credit for this. A local friend of mine recently introduced me to mashups. The immediate question that hit me was, "How on earth did I only now become aware of this?" Searching for mashups on YouTube and listening to tracks downloaded from the Bootie Blog gave me hours of giggles. On the blog, click the "Top 10" tag to get a list of downloadable tracks for the last year or more. They've also released three CDs, all of which are downloadable.

For your enjoyment, one of my favorite blast-from-the-past mashups, "Boulevard of Broken Songs."

Random picture of the day

I don't know why I found this amusing, but I did. Fake fertility goddess at the aquarium in vegas. Because, you know, what trip to the aquarium is complete without a fertility goddess?

Invention I need

It occurs to me that I need a better alarm clock. But not just louder or more reliable. No, I need a leap forward in alarm clock design. Not only do I need it to wake me up at a certain time, I also need it to knock me out 8 hours before. Now that's something I would pay for.

Super Mega Vegas Trip Journal

Friday, Oct 31.

(times largely approximate with an error of several hours)

1:50, fly into vegas. Mood: excited. Also happy plane was airworthy. Note to self: grow wings so I can avoid airlines in the future.

3:00 pm: Have dinner with L and J who graciously put up with my blather. Feel awkward. Probably am awkward. Justin Long is apparently sitting in cafe with us. Want to look around wildly to find him but don't. Content to breathe his air. Will not wash these lungs again.

Early evening: Tag along with L and J and L to go last minute clothes shopping. Do not find good rockabillly but it is revealed that what I brought is probably appropriate. Hooray! Have talk with L, L's sister. Good talk. Nice to finally not feel awkward.

Late Evening: L and J and I attempt to find halloween party action. Largely unsuccessful in getting into clubs, but meet lots of L and Js friends for friendly drinks. They all seem nice. Still feel awkward.

Late, late evening: Apparently most couples out and about in Vegas got the same memo, women are dressed as the sluttiest furries imaginable, guys are dressed as giant douches. Oh wait, the guys didn't dress up, they're just dressed normally and ARE giant douches. And no, it doesn't look at all predatory to have fairly sober guys escorting completely smashed slut bunnies up until their rooms. Side note to the side note: I may be a prude.

Saturday Nov 1st:

3pm: Wake up. 12 hours sleep. Hooray!

7:30 pm: Make it to wedding chapel with 3 minutes to spare. Am shocked to see old flame C with baby until I remember she married into L and L's family. Funny side note, used to date L's sister, L. Then old flame marries into L's family. Additionally, L that I used to date marries an N (who I like), another old flame recently married anther N. (who I do not like). Suspect life is laughing at me. Anyway, have good, non-awkward conversation with C. I may be growing up.

8:00 pm: Elvis wedding more spectacularly entertaining than I would have thought possible. Smoke effects, pink cadillac, dancing, it's fantastic. Best wedding I've attended.

9:00pm to midnight: Reception is nice, has good food. Exotic Japanese food is fun. Not good at parties. Feel awkward throughout, manage not to spill drink or food on self which is major accomplishment. Have nice conversations with C and husband D and with L and N.

Sunday Nov. 2:

Midnight to 5am: Crushing vertigo and acrophobia. Suddenly realize that under room is one room and then 100 feet of air. Cannot get thought out of head. Cannot sleep. May have anxiety problems.

11 am: Wake up after maybe 4 hours good sleep. Karmic repayment for bragging about 12 hours sleep all yesterday evening I'm sure. Go hang out with L and N. Have lunch in casino, then attend aquarium. Aquarium is fun. Manage not to be eaten by sharks or Komodo dragon. Charlie Brown karma successfully dodged. Sea Turtles favorite. Remind me of discworld. Note to self: may be nerd.

3pm: Get to airport with plenty of time to spare. This turns out to be unfortunate because my plane is delayed by 3 hours. Rocket scientists at Las Vegas Airport decide to close all runways but one down. Luckily, I have digital devices to entertain me in the midst of crowded and cranky airline passengers. A nerd is always prepared.

9pm: Arrive home. Hooray! Good trip. Thanks to L and J for inviting me.

Video of the day

It's been a herculean effort not to turn this blog into a platform to complain about my last relationship, but today I'll do it in video form. This ben folds video really resonates with me with regards to my last relationship. I can't embed it because that's been disabled by request, but please check the link out. Apart from my emotional connection it happens to be a really good song from a really good album. Don't be distracted by the Tim and Eric video production. I watch those guys religiously and they always make me laugh my ass off (hmm, I "get" chubby white boys with a bizarre sense of humor . . . strange) but for the uninitiated the video itself may just seem . . . really odd. Anyway, don't let the weirdness of the video distract you from the brilliance of the song.

Beast

New favorite album. This isn't an official video but you can list to the song in video here. Loving the full album too. Kind of vibes with the end of time dogma I learned as a kid. Of course, every time I'm singing along and get to the "I love the beast, ya'll" I reflexively check the mirror for a 666 on my forehead. Ah, indoctrination, how you linger.

Aftermath

I am very pleased that I voted, that the person I voted for was elected president, and that Nevada turned blue this year. For once I lived in a state where I feel like my vote counted and that's a good feeling. Now I'm just sitting back and waiting for the conservatives to suddenly rediscover the concepts of limits on the executive branch and how to howl endlessly over tiny issues for 8 years like they did with Clinton.

Good times.

By Special Request

Because Australia demands it, another serious reminder about voting.

Video of they day - Josh Pyke

Straight from Australia, as introduced to me by my Aussie friends, is my new favorite artist Josh Pyke. This is a nice song, made all the sweeter, oddly, by the choice of words at the end of the chorus. You'll know what I mean when you watch it.

Drill, baby, Drill!

I wonder how long it's going to take for the porn industry to come out with a porno of the same name as this post title?

I'm not a big fan of the pornography industry because I consider it de-humanizing and I don't think the actors and actresses walk away from it emotionally health and unscathed, but that said, I do find their constant attempts to parody major movie titles or pop culture kind of amusing. In college the local video store seemed to traffic in those silly titles. My roommate at the time begged me every day for a few weeks for 10 bucks so he could go buy edward penishands (which I never gave him). But the conversation made me laugh every time.

I'm not really going anywhere with this, it just occurred to me today that there must be work going on at this very moment to turn that slogan into an election campaign themed porno.

Statistics I am interested in

I want to know the percentage of straight men, who cannot use the product "Ben gay" because it makes them feel uncomfortable. Then I want to know how many straight, homophobic men cannot use the product "ben gay" because it makes them angry and uncomfortable. Lastly, I want to know how many straight, homophobic men named Ben cannot use the product "ben gay" because "What the hell do they know?".

Get on it science.

Who is Goose?

Did you know that John McCain and Sarah Palin are Mavericks? Not only that, they're a team of Mavericks. They're a gaggle of Mavericks. A murder of Mavericks. The most Mavericky Mavericks that every Mavericked. They'll Maverick your socks off. Stand back, they have a Maverick! Granted, they have no specific policies to enact once in office, but rest assured, they'll Maverick the government to within an inch of it's life. That's just how Mavericks roll, with seat of the pants, fly by night Mavericking. Now, whether this means heads of "Washington Insiders" who have been at this for longer than 5 weeks on pikes in front of the Whitehouse or an odd predilection to wearing chaps and cowboy hats to cabinet meetings only a Maverick can tell you. In conclusion, Maverick off Maverick-fuckers! These two have a campaign to Maverick! Yeeeee-haaaawwwww!

Rolling stones

This article by Matt Taibbi is just brutal on Palin. I don't quite agree with everything said, but if you dislike the mccain campaign immensely and don't want Palin anywhere near the white house, this is a very cathartic article.

Red Rum

So, it looks like I'll be staying at the hotel that they filmed the Shining at for a conference in November. That should be interesting . . ..

Quote of the day

"When will man learn that all races are equally inferior to robots." -- Bender

Quotes of the day

"Fry, try to understand. You're a man, I'm a woman. We're just two different people!" -- Leela

"I bought champagne. I opened the bottle. What does a guy have to do?" -- Fry

Quote of the Day

"PLAGUES have had better opening nights than this!" -- Calculon

Yeah, Uh, I am a Scientist

I listen to this in the morning sometimes to pump myself up for work

Music Friday

New favorite band. Lots of room to dislike them, but for now I am fixated.

Discrimination

IMG_0169
Originally uploaded by hbot3000

As you can see, I had some trouble getting in.

Time Travel Bargains

Time Travel Bargains
Originally uploaded by hbot3000

When I saw this sign all I could think of was putting a pair on and flip-flopping my way into the future much the way Michael J. Fox did. Also, do you think there's any difference between the summer and winter versions? Maybe summer only goes to the past, and winter only goes to the future?

"Time Sandals, you never forget your first trip to the Jurassic in flip-flops."

Comicon Report, part the second

buddy jesus
Originally uploaded by hbot3000

This was one of my favorite costumes, the Buddy Jesus. He was remarkably soft spoken and Jesus-like as well. He had a large crowd following him around wanting pictures taken with him (when I took this there were 10 people behind me waiting to get in one with him). Anyway, greatly entertaining.

Things that make me sad

The Star Trek Online forums make me sad. Full of people declaring that only this or that game format will be "truly Star Trek". And playing the old game forum favorite of "I have 5 people that agree with me! Surely the game developers should turn over control of the game to us!"

My favorite are the people advocating that everyone start at the academy in starfleet and spend most of their time in-game taking orders from some unemployed 28-year-old mouth breather who is the "captain". And very thoughtfully pat each other on the back one someone agrees with them "Truly you a Star Trek Scholar and Poet, because you have captured exactly what star trek should be." Wait, no, my favorite was one of the afore-mentioned casually posting that they wanted to be able to have "erotic" star trek adventures because mature people like to do that. They were pretty clearly part of the erotic Stak Trek fan fiction community and wanted to take that online.

Essentially they want to live in star trek and if this MMO doesn't do that for them they are going to revolt or something. They just remind me how out of touch and sad geeks can be.

On another note, have I showed you my collection of veritech fighters? Sigh, I would love to live in Robotech. Of course, for anyone to make a game that lets you do that, they would have to incorporate the following things or it would be worthless and I would hate them. First, the controller would need to be a life-size, full scale veritech . . . . .

Rant Interlude

So this post on a few police incidents kind of has me furious. Especially the one where they taser a guy with a goddamn BROKEN BACK 18 times because he "seems dangerous". Also, invading the home of a fucking mayor without warning and killing his dogs (one of whom was running AWAY) because someone sent him a package they thought might have had drugs. HE GOT A PACKAGE FROM SOMEONE AT RANDOM AND THEY ENTERED HIS HOUSE AND KILLED HIS DOGS. This is all bad enough. Worst aspect? No penalties to the authorities for acting this way. Why the fuck aren't more people concerned about police acting like thugs and abusing their authority? Are we really that cowed by an irrational fear of "bad people" that we're willing to let the police fuck up big time without fear of consequence?

FUCK and GOD DAMN IT.

That super Suavey feeling

There's nothing quite like walking into the Apple store, making a purchase with a cute clerk, and then walking out to the car and discovering your fly has been down since you left the house. Smooth.

Making fun of movie trailers

You know, I liked the X-files. I started a couple seasons late, but I watched it all the way to the bitter, bitter end. So you must understand that I'm a little confused about the trailers for the new movie. X-files has had some really interesting and mysterious storylines that thrill and terrify. So I'm trying to figure out why they decided to ignore all of those interesting stories and instead put together, as far as I can tell, the least interesting plot imaginable. I'm hoping it's just a matter of only some of the intro shots being ready for the trailer, but so far in a season with movie trailers that make me want to see every movie every weekend, I think it's quite an accomplishment to take the X-files franchise and reduce it to "meh" in the TRAILER.

Chris Carter, you have disappointed me for the last time.

More musak

Just for fun. And just the song, the image is a still.

What's in a Name?

Zapp Brannicat
Originally uploaded by hbot3000

This poor guy, I have had him for several years now and I've never settled on a good name for him. He arrived to me as "Bouncer" which was decent, but a little too Looney Toons for my taste. I had always intended to give him a good name, but didn't. He's picked up a lot of nicknames over the last couple of years (mostly from me searching for the right one), but none of them seemed to fit. Among other things he has been called:

Bouncer
Buddy
Thunder cat
Battle Cat
Minino
Long Paw (of the law)
Lady Marmalade
Zaphod (the most recent attempt at a Z name to match Zatanna)

None of those have that special ring though. Until I happened upon the perfect name (starting with a Z no less!) while watching an episode of Futurama.

Feel free to call him what you want, but as of today he has a new official name. I present to you:

Zapp Brannicat!

Dynamic Duo

Dynamic Duo
Originally uploaded by hbot3000

Normally when these two are this close to each other there is lots of hissing and claw swiping involved, but this morning they decided to pose. In actuality this may be some sort of passive-aggressive territory squabble, but I'll take peace when I can get it. Anyway, they are also cute and deserving of pictures so there ya go.

New Music Fixation

The Fratellis are my new musicians of interest. The first album (that this video is taken from) is pretty much catchy, raucous rock and roll meant to be sung loudly in bars or brothels (apparently). I really like it, although the girls they have in their videos are kind of silly. Second album is pretty good as well, although their sound changes somewhat, which is okay of course , still pretty good. I imagine next few days are going to be pretty much full of fratelli links so prepare yourselves.

okay, Rant Time (hooray!).

I have become a chubby bastard. One of the side effects of this is that my fat fleshy neck collapses my already small airway at night, causing me to stop breathing repeatedly while I sleep. This keeps me from reaching REM and deep sleep almost every night. That is of course, unless I sleep hooked up to my darth vader CPAP machine which keeps my airway open enough at night to keep my breathing constant which allows me to achieve every sleep cycle known to man, even those reserved for non-fatties (Oh how I hates you non-fatties).

ANYWAY, because I am stupid and lazy and occasionally depressed I missed a few payments on CPAP machine (not because I didn't have money, purely because of stupid and lazy and depressed, hooray for me). How it works is insurance and I pay off machine for 6 months until the machine is mine, as in I own it. So a few weeks back, the company that "rents" me the machine calls wanting to take it back (they can't have my magical sleep machine, mine!). So I call the sleep clinic the originally diagnosed me (because they like to help patients, odd, I know). I had just gotten my act together and mailed in all my missing payments that week, and told everyone so. After a few days, it all gets worked out. The company that wants to take the machine back says my payment came in, all is well, I'm their new favorite customer, would I like candy?, etc. I have received no further bills from them since then.

A week after that I get a call from another guy from the same damn company, saying he needs to pick up the machine. I assume this was a hiccup in the bureaucracy and ignore it. Today, I get some damn guy at my goddamn house trying to pick the damn machine up. I asked him why and he said I was being "transitioned" to another company, which is the same damn thing they told me back when the problems started. I'm fairly sure "transitioned" means "we're trying to drop you and take the machine back and resell it" because they haven't told me why they're dropping me nor are they "transitioning" me to another company. They're "transitioning" me from covered to screwed. I told him the story in miniature, that last I heard they were completely happy with me, and that I need them to call me again to see what's going on. If necessary, I'm sure my sleep clinic will back me up again (they tell me the machine is nearly mine so under no circumstances give it back to them).

What I think is going on is said company is engaged in bureaucratic douchebaggery, and is attempting to take the machine back and resell it using some crap excuse purely in an effort to screw me over to save themselves money. For once in my life I am standing up for myself and they seem to back down quickly which makes me think they don't have a particularly good excuse for taking it.

To sum up: I'm getting pretty goddamn tired of the fact that the companies and people that are supposedly supplying me with medical equipment are intentionally looking for ways to screw me over to save money. I've read several articles about how most insurance companies do the same thing. Try to deny service whenever possible to save money. I"m not saying these are evil people, I'm saying how messed up is it when half the medical establishment is actively looking for an opportunity NOT to help you when you need it? The only angel in all this has been the doctors at my sleep clinic who are 100% on my side in all of this.

To sum up the sum up: The next person that patronizingly tells me we have the best healthcare in the world gets a kick to the crotch.

Work computer

Work computer
Originally uploaded by hbot3000

And for pure bragging rights, here is my work computer set-up. I hope one day to be as productive as this set-up would indicate I am.

Zatanna

Zatanna
Originally uploaded by hbot3000

Here's a pretty good picture of Zatanna. She can be elusive. She's just about the cutest cat I've ever seen. Always has a wide-eyed look about her and will talk to you if you talk to her. Perhaps I'll get video of it. In any case, two other things:

1) Yes, she has a tail, she's it's just curled over.

2) As you might tell from the previous cat picture, my house is as spartan as it is neat.

Cat Gremlin

Cat Gremlin
Originally uploaded by hbot3000

I haven't had time to blog recently, here's a few pictures. First, my kitty attempting to imitate or infiltrate the electronic appliances.

Little Earthquakes

So after my last post there was a 4.7 (like I think late that night) which freaked everyone out, and broke a few knick knacks in my house, but otherwise left most of us unharmed. I think a few people right over the epicenter had cracks in their walls and moved off of foundations a little bit, but mostly everyone was okay. Since then earthquake activity has died down a bit in frequency, although there was a 3.7 late last night. In any case, in the meantime I have purchased a disaster emergency kit which I don't expect to have to use but find comforting, and I have done some interior redesigning with the possibility of earthquakes shaking things down in mind and find that I feel pretty confident in case of earthquake now. Not a lot can fall in the house now that would hurt me or the cats and I have supplies in case of disruption. So hooray for being prepared.

*crazy*

Although, somewhere out there, under the earth, I know those earthquake worms are biding their time, waiting for their time to strike. Right now they are lulling us all into a false sense of security, but they can't fool me. They will never get me!

*/crazy*

Quakin' and a shakin'

Two, 4+ magnitude quakes today. Both of these felt all the way at work (10 miles away or so). Remember, you can pinpoint my house on this map.

Deep breaths . . . remain calm . . .

. . .

. . .

Agggh! It's the last days of pompeii!

IT'S THE LAST DAYS OF POMPEEIIIII!!!! (runs off screaming)

Age wars

This new mosquito device that emits an annoying noise that only teenagers can hear is the funniest thing to me. It is, of course, used by the elderly, who are in general afraid and jealous of the young, to "keep them from loitering". Which is a funny way of saying it, because loitering assumes that young people may have legitimate business in the area in question and perhaps linger too long after completing said business, but the device would keep them from even showing up in the first place. So I am just young enough to be amused that old people no longer have to come out and shout at the kids to "get off of their lawn", they just activate the sonic device that causes young people to run away screaming, hands held over bleeding ears. It's the elderly version of a safety blanket. I'm predicting portable versions that will keep a kid-free bubble of sonic assault around the elderly at all times in the future.

However, I am also just old enough to be incredibly amused at the effects it has on young people. For instance, the anecdote about teenagers no longer congregating and getting into fights in the parking lot made me chuckle for the mental image it created. Kids acting all rambunctious then fleeing in all directions when "pest-be-gone" is activated just makes me laugh. Probably because it makes them seem like animals in my head. And I am amused by this because I am just old enough to start resenting young people for the crimes of being young: i.e. so naive and stupid, but so convinced they are the only smart people ever ( as we all were), so contemptuous of people older than them even though they're doing crap all with their lives, and, of course, because they are younger and prettier than me. So yes, the idea of these youngsters about to fight in some barely sentient display of primate aggression then dispersing upon hearing a loud noise, perhaps to run home and indulge in a tasty banana, entertains me greatly.

That said, it may be cruel and pointless and maybe not a good idea in practice. But as I can't hear the noise myself probably anymore and won't be needing to use the device, I am not as interested in the practicality of it just yet.

The panic of my small mind

I experienced 3 tiny earthquakes in a row before leaving the house today. Here's the map with all activity up until now. I just need to get used to it, but it does set me on edge. My co-workers laugh at me for my unease, and rightly so, but the primitive part of my brain just wants to run, run away from the place where the earth is not content to lie still. Which brings me to my favorite song this week. Run children, run away! I have the monster at bay!

Deep Tuesday

For your enjoyment, a small essay on why Superman is a terrible hero. I have had the same thoughts in fragment, but I have never put it together so nicely. Give it a read.

Needs more Rammstein

I'm on a rammstein kick right now, so I'm passing the savings on to you.

Rock and Roll

Well, I have felt at least one of the temblors shown here. It's a little disconcerting, because I have an active imagination and I'm imagining a new volcano rising out of the ground there. I hasten to add that historically Nevada has an active earthquake history, and seismologists just think we're heading back into a more active phase, which historically is more normal.

Anyway, to keep it fun, taking bets on what, if any, the eventual cause is discovered to be:

1. Volcano two miles from my house.
2. Giant earthworms digging up from the depths to feast.
3. Robots that nearly wiped out mankind 40,000 years ago are resurfacing to once again wreak havoc.
4. Hell's bowling alley has just started league season (Reno is the bowling capital of the U.S.)
5. Normal small quake activity, nothing to be concerned about. (if you do not enjoy imagineering)
6. Mole men and giant drilling machines.
7. Loose micro-black hole in the Earth's interior.
8. Ancient Sumerian name for Earth is "Krypton"
9. A particularly active trampoline league in Mogul.
10. Glitches in the Matrix.

Speedy Skimming

I have to admit that I skim headline too fast sometimes. For instance:

"Researchers hope to cause and cure Parkinson's disease." reads a lot differently when I slow down and realize that it actually reads:

"Researchers hope to FIND A cause and cure for Parkinson's disease."

Likewise, I finally realized the sign over this donation game at convenience stores actually said:

"Flip a coin and help a blind child"

rather than what I had been reading it as:

"Flip a coin, blind a child"

I will neglect to mention which reading resulted in a higher coin donation.

Dear God

As someone who flies Southwest Airlines (or rather, someone who USED to fly southwest airlines) this story freaks me the hell out.

They were flying 117 planes that the FAA did not consider "Air Worthy?" You know, I used to have this safe feeling flying because I "knew" that the bare minimum in airline service was making sure the planes were inspected for safety. Well, wave goodbye to that feeling and all the assumptions that made it so.

Southwest Airlines, you are dead to me.

No Wii for Me

I'm not sure I want to spend the money on it right now, but it offends my completely american instant gratification sensibilities that I cannot buy a wii right now without paying opportunists much more than the thing is worth. Supplies are still low here in the Reno area, and the nerds have become restless. Reno seems muted now, expectant. Waiting for the sentries on casino roofs to shout "Neeeeerdddddsssss!" as a pale, unwashed mass of proto-humanity floods into the downtown area, hungry for the digital stimulants that only the Japanese wii can provide. There is no physical threat of course, as years of malnutrition and apathy have severely atrophied the muscles not strictly necessary for mouse-clicking, gamepad controlling or masturbation. At best, they could thrash ineffectively, raining rapid, yet barely noticeable cotton-soft blows on unsuspecting pedestrians before tiring quickly and looking around for a bean bag chair. The only remote danger persisting in the possibility that one of their heavier brethren might trip and fall on top of children or the elderly.

No, their menace stems not from the Newtonian mechanics of their violence, but purely from their smell. Oh lord the smell that precedes the unwashed horde as the vanguard of their assault. Years of basement living and cheetoh snacking have left them with an orange, moldy crust, the scent of which can drop a mountain lion at 50 yards. It is this that causes the masses to flee at the approach of this frenetic mass of faintly luminescent and completely odiferous nerdality.

So tread lightly and carry nose-plugs should you be brave enough to venture to The Reno. For there are no wiis here.

There are no wiis here.

God help us all.

A box of nothing

Wishing myself a very metal birthday.

Shocking Internet Discoveries

You know, I was thinking of how you can just find almost any video you can think of and tried an experiment. As it turns out, youtube does indeed have any video you can think of. Here's the first part.

John the Revelator

One of my favorite Depeche Mode songs set to a strange video. This isn't the official video from the band, someone else made it. Kinda creepy, but I like it.

In which I conspiritize

So, did you all hear about the hundreds of people who reportedly saw a giant UFO in Texas? I found the story interesting because of how many people reported seeing it and how the air force denied it had anything going on in the area. People described it as a huge thing, "bigger than a walmart" that was rapidly changing speeds. Now the Air Force is saying that, oops, we did have fighter jets in the area and that's probably what everyone saw. However, several of the witnesses know the difference between fighter jets and . . . other things and claim that they are sure that jets are not what they saw.

I guess the only reason I'm commenting on this is that this is the first UFO story that I actually think could be stranger than air force training exercises or media hype. It surprises me a little that I so quickly bought into this story (granted the governments response seems almost designed to provoke suspicion) because rationally I don't really think aliens would be visiting this planet nor do I think the air force is secretly advanced enough to have sci-fi space ships. However, it is probably true that I WANT either of those possibilities to be true.

In any case, it leaves me with a lingering question: What the hell were aliens/air force experiments doing coasting over texas? Looking for a souvenir store where they could buy a ten-gallon hat?

bonus Lily Allen

The song that introduced me to her music (by way of Australia)

Unsurprising

Those who know me well will be unsurprised to learn that I am playing this song to death now. It's so oddly cheerful and catchy I can't stop playing it. So I pass the demon on to you as a curative for me.

You're welcome.

Unprepared

So it ended up Christmas eve that I needed tortillas. Apparently. So I went out hunting at about 10pm, hoping something was still open. Nothing was, of course, and the convenience stores don't carry tortillas so I ended up out of luck. Which was okay in the end, but what's funny to me about the whole thing is how many OTHER people there were floating around looking for open grocery stores as well. In the time it would take me to drive into a grocery store parking lot and determine if it was open or not, 4 or 5 other cars would do the same. At EVERY store I tried, there were 4 or 5 other people doing the same thing. There wasn't much traffic on the road and I like to imagine that the only people out that night were a legion of poor planners, still hoping to find a store magically open for them in some sort of Christmas Miracle.

WoW Navel Gazing

My latest thought about Wow over the weekend was: "World of Warcraft is where people go to hide from the rest of the world." I think this is largely true*. In World of Warcraft you can feel useful and do things to help people and feel popular, regardless of how shitty your life is going. Because in an online game, when I help someone with a quest that they can't do alone, I feel like I'm contributing and useful even though the thing I'm actually helping someone with has no real value. But still, I feel like I've helped, and they feel happy to have been helped and that I think acts as an emotional salve if you don't feel like you contribute much or are helped much in the real world. Of course, this is only true in an MMOG where the person in question is real and breathing behind another computer somewhere else and not an NPC. None of this is really to chastise the people to play, but only really to admit to myself why I play the game and why I think other people do as well. It's largely because my life IS kind of shitty at the moment, and WoW is the place I escape to while I wait for some things to play out or (worse) when I can't make the hard decisions I need to and so avoid them.

Of course, the positive aspect of this, is that I am playing with real people. Usually your encounters with players are friendly, but shallow and brief. You might chat a little amiably, but mostly it's strategy and game-play focused. But, in the last month or so (after like 2 years of playing this game) I have formed a genuine friendship with two guys who live in Australia.

In Reno, I have completely failed to find local friends I can hang out with a few nights a week. While the co-authors of this blog are my dearest friends (at least from my perspective), I only catch up with a couple of you every few months, one of you weekly, and the other about twice a week. Of course, if we were all in the same town, I have no doubt we would see each other more often. Maybe only once a week as marriages and now children allow, but it would happen. Of course, life being life, we don't live in the same town, we are spread out all over the western U.S. and while we still keep in contact, we all have formed local networks of friends that we can count on and hang out with. That is, except for me. Now I hasten to add that I'm not going for a big pity party here. I'm just in full-on navel gazing mode and I'm trying to analyze why my life is the way it is and what I'm going to do about it. Also let me hasten to add that I do have some friends locally (and this sentence is for them if they have pierced the anonymous veil around this blog) and while I do honestly like each and every one of them, I don't really interact them much outside of work. But I've discovered that part of what I need to not go crazy is local friends that I can hang out with weekly, few times a week whatever. Go out and eat dinner, watch a movie, play guitar hero, whatever, and I just don't have that.

What I DO have right now, is two friends from Australia that I play WoW with nightly. We don't live quite close enough to go out and watch movies together, but we talk about life, and play and have fun, and have even exchanged emails and real names so we know who we are in real life. And right now, that's freaking GREAT for me and makes WoW a good thing. Because while it's still a place I go to hide from the world, at least now I'm hiding WITH friends. And for a guy that's been hiding away in his house for years while Reno ate his soul, it's fucking FANTASTIC.


*The other main reason I would say people play this game a lot, nightly, whatever, is that it is designed to be addictive to certain personalities (i.e. mine) and is pretty much comparable to those experiments psychologists used to do on mice to keep them pressing a certain lever for tiny rewards over and over and over and over. In that sense, I think that games like World of Warcraft are directly comparable to Slot machines. They are both designed to exploit psychological reactions using a system of carrots and sticks to keep us playing and playing, no matter how much time or money it ends up devouring. This is an idea I am still coming to terms with.