Kick-ass Tree

tree2
Originally uploaded by hbot3000.

"Oh Kick-ass tree, oh Kick-ass tree, how much you do kick aaasss?"

I am all class. A few more tree pics if you click through to flickr.

Happy Holidays everyone! May your holiday greed by ever-sated!

Sign of the coming apocalypse

The Seattle Seahawks have the best record in the NFC at 12-2 and the second best record in the league (they trail only the Colts, their next opponent this weekend). Oh my God the earth quaked when I wrote that sentence.

Start stocking up on food and water now. This may also be a good time to have a place to meet or a plan in case of severe societal disruption. This isn't a drill people! Move! Move!

Tales to WoW you, part 2

Day 3, Brill (Ruminations on Unlife)

***************************

"How many Rot Hide Gnolls did we kill today?" I ask , as we sit surveying the carnage in the field below.

"I don't know. 40 maybe?" Karibou is wiping the blood and ichor off of his sword.

"Filthy buggars. I hope the apothecary will be happy with the embalming fluid we collected from them. Ooh, I think I'll ask him if he has enough extra for another embalming treatment. I think I'm starting to rot again."

"Dude . . .." Karibou shakes his head. Clearly it was more than he needed to know.

"So, what's up with your name?" I ask as look through all the potentially valuable rubbish I picked off the rot hides.

"What do you mean?"

"Karibou kind of sounds like someone who's in touch with nature, like a druid or something. It's just strange since, you know, our goal in unlife is not so much to be in touch with nature as it is to kill it and twist it into a something resembling our own hideous state of undeath."

Karibou shrugs and stands up. Clearly he's decided he has no back-story either. "Let's go back to town and give this crap to the apothecary," he says.

"God I hate Brill." I mutter as we lope breathlessly (literally) back towards town.

"I know, it's a fucking rat's nest," he shakes his head.

"You know, I understand that as magically reanimated corpses we don't really worry about comfort anymore, but still, you'd think someone would pick up a fucking hammer at some point and fix the gaping holes in the walls. Seriously, we're supposed to be at war with the alliance and here we are with buildings that look like they'll collapse the next time we get a breeze passing through."

"Tru dat."

"I mean, for god's sake, pretty much all we have to worry about anymore is the war with humans and brewing up a new plague to rid the world of them once and for all. But I mean, we don't need to eat, sleep, take baths, nothing. I mean, I've got a lot of fucking time on my hands these days, and I can only roam the forests killing rot hides so much before it starts to get a little dull, you know?"

Karibout nods, clearly, and somewhat ironically, already bored with the conversation.

"I mean, you'd think a few of us would be resurrected neat freaks and would spend all this time we got obsessively cleaning and fixing up the place. Don't you think?"

"I dunno, maybe. Oh hey, there it is," Karibou points ahead, clearly eager to change the conversation.

"It's as lovely as I remember," I say as we head down the hill and into town. God I hate Brill.

***********LATER*************

"You know, I think I'm going to Undercity for a few days," I say as we pocket the pittance the apothecary gave us for our troubles.

"Why's that?" Karibou asks.

"I'm thinking of picking up a trade of some sort to fill in the hours when we're not out killing things." I think, looking off in the distance towards the ruined castle.

"A trade? You mean like sewing?" He seems doubtful.

"Well, I don't think I'm going to learn sewing per se, but something."

"Well, you go learn your knitting. I'm going to stay here and, you know, fight threats to the Forsaken."

"Hah, you do that. See you in a few days."

"Later. Hey, knit me a sweater while you're there."

"Bastard." And with that, I trot off to Undercity to find my non-sewing tradeskill destiny.

Tales to WoW you, part 1

Presented for your amusement I bring you tales of the many adventures of Karibou (Eric) and Gulveris (me) in World of Warcraft. Many of the incidents and conversations you read in this post and others probably never happened. But they COULD have. In any case, dear reader, they are sure to astound and WoW you (I know, I've made that bad pun twice now, and no, I'm not any happier with it than you are). Read on, intrepid adventurer!

Note: I mostly intend these to be funny and not self-indulgent fan fiction. That said, this will likely have waaay too much self-indulgent fan fiction and be the death of this blog. Enjoy!

Day 1, Deathnell (In which Our Heroes are introduced)

I pull the cobwebs off of my eyes and sit up, bones creaking. I jump out of the coffin I had so gracefully been dumped in and assess the situation. I smell horrible, my jaw won't close and my fingers and toes are nothing but bones. Oh good. I also appear to be rotting, which I guess explains the smell. I think back to my last memory and decide I have no back story. That settled, I step out into the crap hole that is Deathnell.

"Sup." An equally dead warrior staggers up to me as I wander the dilapidated town. He is also rotting. "Want to team up?"

I nod, catching my head before it falls too far foward. "Sorry, newly undead," I pop my neck back into joint. "Sure, let's go kill something."

"Karibou" he extends a bony hand.

"Gulveris." And we trot off to kill something.

***** LATER ******

"Wait up, I need to eat some mushrooms and regain some health." Karibou searches the wolf's remains before sitting down. "Holy shit, this wolf was carrying a bastard sword."

"Really?" I sit down and pull out some bread and begin munching.

"Yeah. I'm gonna use it."

"Cool. You don't wonder why the wolf was carrying that type of thing?" Karibou shrugs. I look down at the bread I'm eating. It looks good. "Why do we like eating bread?"

"What do you mean?"

"We're undead, right?" I continue chewing. I'm not sure if I'm tasting bread, or just remembering the flavor. "Shouldn't we crave brains or something?"

"I don't know." Karibou stands up, wielding his new bastard sword. "What I want to know is, how do you chew with your jaw hanging half-off like that?"

I self-consciously close it with my hand. "Been wondering that myself."

"Okay, let's go kill something." Karibou runs off towards a nearby wolf, dragging his sword behind him in the dirt.

"Okay." I stand up and pull out my daggers. Time to bring the gift of death to a world that needs it.

*********************

Me: What do you think of the game so far.
Eric: It's okay.
Me: You mind if I chronicle our adventures on the blog?
Eric: . . . I suppose.
Me: I'm running out of things to write about.
Eric: I see. Let's go kill something.
Me: Okay.

I sleep now

A few quick reviews in lieu of actual interesting posting.

The Lost Skeleton of Cadavra is B-movie spoofing at its finest. I laughed quite heartily throughout, although it begins to wear at the end. Still, it has many classic lines that you will want to repeat over and over with your friends in public until the people haven't seen it yet get annoyed and tell you to shut up.

Alfred Hitchcock presents, season 1 is 39 episodes of entertainment. I find it quite enjoyable. And 39 episodes for one season? That is 2 normal seasons and 3 first seasons today.

Smallville is pretty good this season. Slightly less angst, a lot more comic book type action. Nice to see James Marsters back too. And the episode of Aquaman was classic. Rumor has it that they're going to do Aquaman as a TV series, although it won't be a spinoff of Smallville.

Of the 3 new Alien Invasion series, Surface is by far the best. In terms of actually moving the plot forward, weird and scary moments and great special effects for a TV series. Invasion is okay, but it feels like the plot is inching along. Like all they had was the premise and don't know what to do with it from there. Threshold is okay, sometimes it's really good, sometimes not. It's certainly the grossest. It will probably be the first to be cancelled though. Lost is still entertaining, but I still need to be convinced that the writers are going somewhere interesting with the show.

I went to a midnight showing of Harry Potter and found it pretty enjoyable. Although I continue to think of Harry as a mediocre individual, only able to do the things he does by cheating and the help of other people. But that's just a nitpick.

News Flash!

Okay, this may not be news to some of you, but after 3 near misses in traffic today, I have come to the following realization: I am a horrible driver. I think I was pretty decent at one point in time (or maybe not, who knows?). But now, oh god now, I'm amazed I'm still alive. So . . . yeah. Try and forget this post when you visit me and I insist on driving you around town.

Regurgitation Station

"So, when you want incredible entertainment experiences in your lap . . ." -- latest intel commercial.

I'm juvenile for thinking this is funny, I know, but I laughed a bit when I heard it. Does Intel really think they're the #1 source for "incredible entertainment" in your lap?

Regurgitation Station

"They said we were going to be greeted with sweets and flowers . . . they left out the crucial modifier 'exploding'" -- Al Franken

If only my house had this view

oh canada eh
Originally uploaded by hbot3000.

I want to go back to the Banff gondola. I didn't really have time to explore as much as I wanted to. Got some nice shots of the view though (which I'll finish posting to flickr later). Good times.

Funny Story, True Story

My Great Uncle Clyde has a son named Clyde Jr. and a daughter named Clydetta. I have mixed feelings about this.

A Dish Best Served Warm

Can y'all remember what you were doing 2 years ago? I remember exactly what I was doing. It was the day after my wedding.

On the way home S and I were talking about how helpful F. McMatty was at the wedding and how cute hbot3000 was in his tuxedo. We arrived home in a state of marital bliss. At the door I said: "Wait wait."I put down the bags and picked up my giggling bride. I carried her over the threshold and we were home this was to be our new life.

Immediately upon entering we were hit with an unholy stench, Shereen said, "Oh my God." I said, "Get out, get out." We left the door open hoping the apartment would air. Pixel stood at the screen door eyes watering, mewing piteously.

Shereen asked if I thought the cat was sick over the weekend while we were gone. I had my own suspicions. See, I remembered three hot and sunny California days prior when Todd and I went to the store. He asked if I had any draino. I asked why. He said, "Never mind I'll take care of it." We left it at that.

Oh, he took care of it all right. He made sure to spread that ungodly mess evenly about the toilet. Further inspection proved my worst fears to be true. And there was no water left in the bowl.

"Well, maybe it's disintegrated enough over the weekend." But I was wrong.

We watched in horror as the bowl kept filling and filling and filling, until it spilled over the edge. Shereen began gagging in the hall way and I just ran.

Yes, Todd Jarnes is on my shit list. I can hardly wait till he gets married. I'm cooking up something special even as I type. Though I hope it's soon, the constipation is killing me.

Regurgitation Station

"Yes, maybe Reno was disgusting. Yes, maybe it is a cesspool of vice and boredom . . . an abysmal hell-hole of nothingness . . . but, eh, we had a nice time." -- Captain Dwayne Hernandez (Reno 911)

The sentiments expressed in this quote are so perfect I can't begin to explain it to you.

Update on my life

I have thoughts I still need, nay, WANT to share with you all. But I've had the september blues. Also, I discovered that the druid is, in fact, my favorite class in World of Warcraft and that a Night Elf druid is incredibly fun to play. There's a certain joy to being able to transform into a big scary bear and a fierce sea lion. So, um, been spending a lot of time doing that. And hanging out with Lupita. And working. And stuff. But never fret, I haven't forgotten you. I'll post the best post ever next time. Promise.*

*I can't actually promise that.

I Play Penguin With the Train

I thought I should memorialize/eulogize this before it slips into nothingness:

"I'm big and black, clickety-clack"--Cowboy Troy

A brilliant magical tragedy happened in the 101 Safety Corridor, north of Eureka. Shereen, myself and S's friend Minnie from DC were going to the North Coast "Hippy Dippy" Fair. The truck in front of us pulled off the road and put on it's blinkers, and something black and white could be seen in the right hand lane. I saw it first, Shereen was driving and talking. I said, "Pull over into that lane." I didn't say, "Oh my god it's a live penguin." Because that would just be crazy. But Shereen and Minnie both said, "It's a penguin." And it was.

What space time warp brought this little penguin to waddle across 101 North thousands of miles from the artic circle? A surreal realization, almost like discovering a leprachaun under your rose bush. And our wonder lasted for 5 seconds, the next car nailed it. What the fuck was going on? Our car traveled on in silent horror all the way to Arcata. We haven't really brought it up since. Trying to forget.

I don't think it's last thought was, "Will you be my friend?" I think it was, "Holy shit what's a Volvo?"

As seen on TV

According to Arrested Development, the new ad campaign for Reno is:

Make the Biggest Little MIstake of Your Life in Reno.

I love this show.

Regurgitation Station

"Some of you may have heard me observe a time or two -- going back to when George W. was still governor of Texas -- that the trouble with the guy is that while he is good at politics, he stinks at governance. It bores him, he's not interested, he thinks government is bad to begin with and everything would be done better if it were contracted out to corporations.

We can now safely assert that W. has stacked much of the federal government with people like himself. And what you get when you put people in charge of government who don't believe in government and who are not interested in running it well is ... what happened after Hurricane Katrina.

Many a time in the past six years I have bit my tongue so I wouldn't annoy people with the always obnoxious observation, "I told you so." But, dammit it all to hell, I did tell you, and I've been telling you since 1994, and I am so sick of this man and everything he represents -- all the sleazy, smug, self-righteous graft and corruption and "Christian" moralizing and cynicism and tax cuts for all his smug, rich buddies.

Next time I tell you someone from Texas should not be president of the United States, please pay attention. " -- Molly Ivins

The Nighttime is the Right Time.

I love 4 am. It's just about the deadest part of the morning. Most of the late-nighters have called it quits, and most of the early risers aren't quite out on the road yet. There's always someone going somewhere, but from my window and the masterful view it commands of two freeways and a highway, I can see the cars are sparse. I was standing on my balcony just now, imagining the night was mine. I seemed to be the only one awake, why not take it? I was in the midst of envisioning my armies of the night stretched out before me when an actual denizen of the night came trotting into view. A coyote was daring the bright lights of civilization to hunt in the 50 foot strip of mostly unspoiled land just outside my window. He was hunting in kind of an S-pattern, stopping every now and then to dig something up and crunch it. But he (or she) was crunching pretty loud for an animal that's supposed to be a hunter. Anyway, the cat came out on the porch to see what was up and I shooed him inside, instantly filled with visions of him leaping off the porch to Coyote Doom. I think he's smart enough not to jump off, but I live a life of paranoia. Anyway, he eventually wound his way right in front of me, dared to jump into a close patch of rocks, eat something and dash out. He/she/it was cute in a "I'll savage your hamstrings" kind of way. Not much point to this post, just sharing the experience. Also, I hope to win the award for "best post between 4 and 5 am" with this one. Fingers crossed.

While I'm at it . . .

Okay, here's another un-PC comment, if you're Adventist. In the midst of the mild to serious spiritual crises in which I find myself, there is one thing that decidedly doesn't help me. The prophet of our church was hit in the head by a rock, and proceeded to have visions afterward. Hit in the head, followed by visions. If I recall correctly, this was framed as her succeeding with God's help despite the problems caused by the rock injury and then being God's instrument as his prophet and receiving his visions. Looking at it today, I have a hard time as seeing the rock injury and the visions as an un-related thing. Why didn't that ever come up when we were younger? I suppose it's a matter of greater faith to believe the visions were real rather than rock-inspired, but you have to admit, a compelling case could be made that there were no paranormal explanations needed. Of course, I'm no doctor, so I don't know if head trauma can lead directly to hallucinations years later, but it seems well within the realm of possibility. Am I remembering this wrong? I admit it's been a while since I thought about the story.

Two pluses help me here. One, while I heard a lot of EGW talk privately, church activities still seemed to be largely Bible-based. Which I approve of. If we idolized her a bit more it would be harder to swallow. Second, I actually like some of EGW's books, especially the ones she wrote later in life, because I believe she achieved some better enlightenment and became more mellow and far less strident. She may have postulated that black people came from ancestors and monkeys mating or some garbage, and tried a little too hard to make science fit the genesis accounts, but I'm willing to forgive that as the sins of a mildly ignorant and dogmatic youth. I'd like to think that as she aged she realized some of her past beliefs were some form of bullshit.

WTFWJD?

Come on, you know that's funny.

Kind of like Heaven . . .

gondola2
Originally uploaded by hbot3000.

. . . but the parking is terrible.

Riding the heavenly gondola is one of my favorite things to do at Tahoe. I got some nice pictures at the top. Josh and Lupita and I went up. We even saw a glider get towed up to a high altitude and released while we were there. It was pretty keen. Parking, driving around, and interacting with the hordes of people that Tahoe is currently ill-equipped to accomodate remains one of my least favorite things to do.

Double your pleasure

dbrainbow1
Originally uploaded by hbot3000.

A nice Double Rainbow, sadly, I couldn't get the whole thing in my viewfinder. You'll just have to trust me when I say it was a full, double rainbow. My mom noticed that the outer rainbow had inverted colors and relayed the fact that a couple decades ago, artists for publications (religious or otherwise) would correctly paint a double rainbow (with colors inverted) and it was taken by some in the church community to be a secret satanic symbol. My mother said in retrospect it was pretty stupid of people to make such an assumption. I tend to agree.

Devious little Monkey

catcupboard
Originally uploaded by hbot3000.

I turn my back for one second, ONE SECOND, and Bouncer's on the second shelf. Ooh, you little rascal (shakes fist).

Life on Mars

marssunset
Originally uploaded by hbot3000.

Blogging is still sporadic. Been busy and tumultuous here at casa Robotica. I think I do have things to say, but at the moment gaming seems to be what I really want to do. Will post when I'm ready. Until then enjoy a few pictures (click through to check flickr for more).

Bonus Cat Picture

catzilla
Originally uploaded by hbot3000.

Be sure to go to flickr if you want more comicon pictures. I should have taken more, but I was too busy absorbed in the wonderment of it all. In the meantime, here's the empire versus it's greatest threat: catzilla. What you can't see is that he's gnawing on a small troop walker (At-st).

Fun with legos

cruiser6
Originally uploaded by hbot3000.

The engine section of one of the cooler things at the con. Really big, really cool lego cruiser. I'm such a geek. Click the image to browse all of my comicon images.

Regurgitation Station

"This isn't the future. This is some fake plastic future. This is a soy-based future substitute." -- Fafnir (Fafblog)

Help us bankokslut, you're our only hope.

Wonder why Anakin fell so hard and so fast for the old queen, er I mean Emperor? In space no one can hear you bite your pillow. No wonder he and the luscious Portman had no chemistry.

Speaking of chemistry y'all remember what happened to that mythological miscreant who stole the sodium and stuck it in his back pocket. Hopping hooligans! He got a hot seat. That tale is Aubrey-licious.

Now that you have a new gal-pal you’ve got to wrangle up them there unruly pubes. Wouldn’t want any to pop up in an unsightly place such as the sleeve of a bathrobe for instance.

So bankokslut (or anyone else who knows), I need an honest opinion. How good is Corgan’s latest TheFutureEmbrace. My frame of reference, I’m a radio friendly Smashing Pumpkins fan, but I’m no fanboy.

Work Schmerk

I finished the Salmon of Doubt by and about Douglas Adams over the family reunion. If you are a fan of his, and have not read it, you have done yourself a disservice. His interview on why he's such a strong atheist is very interesting. Well, he's just very interesting. The whole book is filled with non-fiction he wrote about Apple products and science and such and notes from his friends on what a cool person he was. Did you know that he was born in Cambridge the same year that Watson and Crick made a monumental genetic discovery? And that interestingly enough, his initials are DNA? I have more tidbits and revelations for you, but you will have to expand the post.

For those of you interested in climate change, or interesting/scary events that may be indicative of climate change, I present to you this article from the San Francisco Chronicle. It's about how the cold water that usually moves next to the coasts of Northern California and Oregon hasn't done that this year, thus the plankton that comes with it hasn't come to the coast, and various species are having issues with that. The article explains it better. Also, here's an oldie but a goodie about rapid glacier melting.

I'm in the last chapter of the Long Emergency, where he gives his idea of what the next 20 years will bring. It's not very sunshiny. Essentially he thinks most of us will have to rediscover farming and that the consumer life as we know it will collapse. I'm not sure how much I buy it, he pretty clearly sums up why he thinks alternative energy won't save us, or won't save us in time. You have to buy into a few key assumptions of his theory, but none of them are that much of a stretch. I would certainly miss my electronic amusements should we start having problems like that. But whether you buy his societal collapse theory or not, it is at the very least an interesting thought experiment. It's pretty interesting to learn just how much of our society is built on the idea of cheap oil forever, and just how poorly we've planned for a lack of oil. Part of the appeal I guess, comes from memories of all the end of the world stories I read as an Adventist youth. I suppose if you were apocalypse-minded, you might postulate that peak oil could easily play a key part in the adventist version of the end of the world. I'm not inclined to be that negative these days I guess. I worry about our lack of planning, and to some extent how much I believe in the end of the world, but choose to believe that life is what we make it. Anyway, I digress. As a further digression though, my dad flipped through it and put it down again, stating that he thought Christ would return before we ran out of oil so why worry about it? What kind of attitude is that? What a silly reason not to care about the consequences of our actions. I thought conservatives were all about consequences and such? Okay, I'll stop, but just so you know, I could go on all day. And will go on to add that there is considerable speculation that this year is the year we hit hubbert's peak (the halfway point in world oil supplies, and the point after which oil production will drop dramatically in just a few years) and that we could hit $80 dollars/barrel by Christmas. But, like my dad said after making his end times prediction, "I ain't no prophet."

Also, I found another good reason to keep this blog anonymous. Apparently, sometimes search committees read your blog when you apply for a job and decide not to hire you based on what you wrote. So, uh, good to know.

Bueller . . . Bueller . . .

mattHauss
Originally uploaded by memory-hole.

This is a test of the group photo archive that I set up for kvc, eric, hazMatt and I. If anyone wants to contribute a picture to this let me know, we'll work something out. Anyway, just a picture of Matt and I on a recent trip to Walla^2. Yay for technology!

I am . . . the One

So I believe I have successfully added a folding option to the blog. This means long posts can now be squished, so they don't take up the whole damn page. In other words, I control the matrix, it does not control me. So now, we will test this marvelous new feature, in order that we may enter the Utopia I promised earlier. If you click the bit of text that says "read more" or whatever I have it say eventually (in the spirit of slacktopia, I haven't decided yet) you will expand this post and see my usually rambling. Not thrilling, until you realize that I will be revealing my true weight as well. Go ahead and guess what it is before you click. If you guess right, you'll get a slap from me followed by "Oh you bastard, you bastard, how could you guess that high?"

My full weight will be revealed shortly. But first, additional comments on family reunion. The director of the camp we stayed at (the one with the wife who was content with her role) was always ramping up the religious talk to an amazingly annoying level. Every time he talked to us as a group he would say something like "Gosh, God just loves family. We're so glad you're here because God loves families. And he wants to increase his family right?" or some such. When you talked to him one on one, you could have a normal conversation (or so I overheard) but as a group, we always had to enter group think mode and repeat that we believed in Jesus lest He strike us dead. Douglas always used to talk like that too, to groups who came in? It's like you need at least 5 Jesus references per conversation to prove that you're not devil worshippers in disguise. What's up with that?

So, at surgical consultation yesterday (nothing big, don't worry), they weighed me. Funny story, my general practitioner didn't weigh me, but these guys did for no apparent reason. The result. Wait for it. 234 fucking pounds of me exists at the moment. I'll repeat that. TWO HUNDRED AND THIRTY-FOUR FUCKING POUNDS. I'm five foot nine inches tall. So, uh, time to get back on the horse I guess. And by "the horse" I mean I should probably start exercising again. Or take up an eating disorder. Hmmm, that sounds promising, I'll start looking into that. In the meantime, I'll just pretend that the weight is entirely due to muscle. I cherish my delusions.

Catch Wonder Showzen on MTV2 if you haven't already. It's the most offensive thing I've seen in a while. And I laugh and laugh and laugh. Nothing like a kids show that shows puppets vomiting blood. The show that's playing as I type this is all about patience. As such, it tries to annoy you as much as possible in a funny kind of irony. Good times, good times.

I'm giving the London bombings a day before I comment. Consider it a moment of silence for the dead.

In the meantime, remember, Minmei loves each and every one of you.

Notes from the field

7:15 pm 7-1-05. We have arrived at Living Waters Ranch. Dinner was delicious. Have seen many family members already. The introduction by the owners of this place was full of religious language that makes me uncomfortable. And I haven't even hit the sing-a-long hymn section of the evening yet. I may fall asleep on my bed shortly in the hopes of avoiding it. Because if I go, I ain't singing. I'm precious that way. Ah, it kind of astonishes me how ready I am to leave these religious practices behind. You may find it sad, but it occurred to me recently that I don't care if I ever step foot in a church again. Well, more on that later. The oddest portion of the evening came when I noticed that the kitchen apron that the director's wife was wearing had written on it: "I am content with my role." Considering how devout they seem to be, it didn't seem like it was intended to be ironic. Who knows, they might think I have no sense of humor. On the plus side at this place though, the rooms are nice. Far fewer activities, than say the old camp, but the buildings are about 3 times nicer. And the view is pretty decent as well. Maybe I'll post some to flicker once I get back.

12:04 pm July 4. I have engaged my powers of sleep to avoid those things that I find tedious. So far, I have used sleep to avoid Friday vespers, Church, and the Challis 4th of July parade this morning. Although I learn after the fact that my dad was apparently on one of the floats doing yo-yo tricks. One parade watcher was heard to remark, "that's incredible!" So, yeah, I'm a precious, family-avoiding flower. Yesterday, I climbed to the top of the nearby hill and learned two things that I already knew. I am grossly out of shape. Granted, we're at 6k feet here, but still. The amount of huffing and puffing I did on the way up was an embarrassment. The allergy attack didn't help either. The second thing I learned and I already knew was that I am horribly afraid of heights. I got dizzy in certain steep spots. Yup, machismo is my real middle name. Of course my real first and last names are "no" and "whatsoever", so I'm not sure how far that gets me.

7:36am 7-6-05: Sitting in the Boise airport taking advantage of free wireless. All airports need to incorporate this feature. So let it be written, so let it be done. Will post again later as time allows.

To all my adoring fans

The blogging has been light and it about to get lighter. I am off tomorrow for the Iverson-Zachary family reunion. I get to see my wandering brother (he's a minstrel!) and I have seen the parents in a bit so it will be good to see them. But other than that, I'm not remotely looking forward to it. For one, I have a new girlfriend I won't be seeing for a week. And second, I'm bored to death by these things. I'm horrible to have as a relative. I never call, I never write, and I act bored when I visit. These may not be the best qualities to have. On the plus side, I'd still give a family member a kidney. Well, if they needed one. Not if they needed it for a macabre game of badminton though. Okay, I digress. Anyway, going to somewhere called "Living Waters Ranch" and we're apparently going to do a lot of praise singing. Most of the activities seem to be spiritual in nature. I wish I had a PSP, because I'm going to go crazy. I wanted to write about this more in depth last night but got distracted. I'll jot something down about it when I get back I suppose. Anyway, the ranch is waaaay out by Challis (mid-eastern Idaho. North of Sun Valley, South of Salmon). I suspect there will not be wireless networking available to me at Living Waters Ranch (which I expect to be haunted by water elementals or filled with green bacteria). So I'm bringing the new CGI Appleseed and season 3 of Buffy with me. And the ipod. I have a 3 or more hour drive with the parents ahead of me. The iPod will be crucial to surviving this trip. Anyway, listen to me bitch about family. I am an ungrateful heir. Perhaps I will someday be a better person, and be worthy of the ring of power we pass down through the generations. Oh, wait, that's a secret. Keep that one between us okay?

Before I go, a few tidbits.

There is a way to fold posts, so a simple click expands and folds the post so that no one post takes up the whole screen. At some point, I will make this option available on this blog and we will enter a new Utopia.

Saw War of the Worlds tonight. One, I liked it, even though it freaked me out a little (I've been freaked out by that story since childhood). Two, Hollywood needs to figure out how to write endings. Seroiusly, most of the time these days I groan aloud in the theater and go "oh please! that doesn't even make sense!" Or some such. This one was no exception. I just laughed. And they didn't want me to be laughing.

The Pod-casting feature Apple just added to iTunes is frabulous. And they have the entire Air America line-up. My first born child will be given to work in Apple's innovative and mysterious corporate machine as a token of my undying love.

I thought I had another thing to say but I do not. Oh, it may have been I'm a bit nervous of flying. What if the martians attack in mid-flight? It wouldn't go well for me then.

Also, no "standing in for Joe" while I'm gone. You XTC freaks know what I mean. I'm watching you.

The Oath 2: The Re-Oathening

Lest this blog become abandoned, left by the side of the internet super-highway, sure to be picked up by an unsavory character and never seen again, I have decided to actually post. It has been unthematically busy in Slacktopia, which has left its king little time for such luxuries as blogging. But for those of you who wait on pins an needles for my every pronouncement, I apologize. But seriously, stay off the pins and needles kids. That's just . . . ew. Ugh, and what about that baited breath? A little hygiene, please. That's all we ask here. Oh, and also that you send me money.

So anyway, back to what this post was promised to be about. The Oathening. It turned out pretty much like I thought it would. The president of the institute sent out an email stating that we could sign the oath and write under protest on it with no negative consequences, but if we don't sign it we are fired. Everyone seems to accept that, even if it still rankles a little. Of course, some still worry that signing under protest will cause negative repercussions in the future, but that's to be expected as well. I will likely sign under protest, rebel that I am. But I suspect it will be quickly forgotten and nothing will ever come it. Shame really. Here I wanted to be part of a landmark court case.

Forbidden Affairs

I am in love with 3 am. It completes me. Although I've been having a torrid affair with 4 am for a number of months now. But shhh, 3 am mustn't know. Of course , what neither of them know is that I have the occasional kinky rendezvous with 5 am. Oh the sweet torture. I don't tend to see 6 am though, as she's kind of a bitch. Ugh, and don't get me started on 7 am. I don't like her coming OR going. I feel bad though. Because of all the cheating. 2 am wishes I'd call more, but she's not as exciting as she'd like to think she is. I like 1 am, but the passion just isn't there. And 12 am has been waiting patiently for me all these years. It is her my cheating wounds the most. But that's dangerous, as she's a witch.

But oh god, how I lust after 3 am. Ah, quiet, here she is. My angel.

Oath-tastic

So, after a "concerned citizen" asked whether we here at the institute had taken the State loyalty oath, we have been informed by "the lawyers" that we are all now required to speak and sign the state loyalty oath (since we exist as part of the state college system). It reads:

I, ........................................................................................, do solemnly swear (or affirm) that I will support, protect and defend the Constitution and Government of the United States, and the constitution and government of the State of Nevada, against all enemies, whether domestic or foreign, and that I will bear true faith, allegiance and loyalty to the same, any ordinance, resolution or law of any state notwithstanding, and that I will well and faithfully perform all the duties of the office of ......................................................................................................................., on which I am about to enter; (if an oath) so help me God; (if an affirmation) under the pains and penalties of perjury.

There has subsequently been a institute-wide email discussion on what this means. Pertinent questions such as who are our enemies (is there a list we can look at?) and who will judge when we have broken the oath? My question was whether I get to carry weaponry now that I'm defending the state against all enemies. My boss asked if maybe we should all start wearing armbands so we know who signed the oath and who didn't (which was a sardonic response, of course). Probably the most pertinent point brought up was that this oath is a remnant of the McCarthy era, which certainly doesn't sit well with our largely Democratic faculty. I know Washington and California have both had state supreme court cases where the requirement for a loyalty oath was struck down, and that it was the academic faculty at institutions of higher learning that generated the original lawsuit. I certainly think it's an unnecessary and vaguely paranoid thing (only a commie wouldn't sign it!), but I don't know whether we're going to roll over and sign it so we can get paychecks (we all sign new contracts in a few weeks and we may have to speak the oath and sign the paper then) or whether we're going to make a stink over it. Should be interesting regardless. I'm also very curious as to what type of "concerned citizen" would bring it up in the first place. Anyway, submitted for intellectual interest.

Popesicle sticks

A couple of interesting articles I was forwarded by my grandparents. The first deals with the pope's desire for a reunion of Christianity. The second is his call for more religious Sundays.

I was a little sceptical until I went straight to the source (The Guardian) for the links. I know we're all aware how these statements are going to be interpreted. Anyone care to comment?

Regurgitation Station

"What annoys me is that Spielberg is such an egomaniac these days that it has to be 'Steven Spielberg's War of the Worlds. No, you puss-bag. It's H.G. Wells' War of the Worlds, and it wouldn't kill you to put his fucking name on it." -- Harlan Ellison in a Recent Interview with SCI-FI Wire.

I love Harlan Ellison and his cantankerousness. His books have moved higher up on my "to buy" list (I forget about him from time to time, then run across a quote like this and love him all over again). Well, I'll buy more Ellison once I get through Michael Crichton's wrong, wrong, wrong novelization of why he thinks global warming is a hoax. That one makes my head hurt (in essence he cites papers which are mostly true that are evidence against Global warming, but ignores the mountain of papers next to them that provide evidence for Global Warming). More on this topic later.

Brain Waves

It's official now. Summer '05 is "The Summer of The Brain."

At least for my little group of friends, loved ones, and casual aquaintances. We all know bits and pieces of QVC's story. And let me say again that I'm glad that the situation appears to be stabilized. Please correct me if I'm wrong. I hope the headaches are gone by now.

But like the old saying goes, "One swallow doesn't make a summer." Nor does one brain case. So here's the rest of the story.

Elizabeth has had an interesting little congenital condition for her whole life. No one really knew she had it until she got an MRI at 17. Basically all they told her at that point was, "If you get pregnant, you shouldn't have an epidural or any other type of spinal tap. That could cause problems with your cerebrospinal fluid and kill you."

She's continued to have brief, severe headaches from time to time, and they are often accompanied by a loss of vision. (We're talking 10-15 seconds of astonishing pain and blindness.) What's happening is that a portion of her cerebellum is enlarged, and restricts the flow of CSF. That flow serves to even out pressure differentials between the brain and spinal cord, and so when that flow is restricted or stopped, the pressure in her skull spikes hard.

Anyway, that is what she wanted to talk about with her new physician, who sent her in to get an MRI. A neurosurgeon examined that MRI, talked to her about her symptoms and told her that it would be best to operate sooner rather than later. The operation will involve enlarging the foramen magnum to allow more room for fluid flow. They'll carve out some of the bone, and graft in a piece of artificial dura to allow the brain some extra room. Oddly enough, within a few weeks the enlarged portion of her cerebellum should shrink back to a nearer-normal size and her symptoms should disappear almost immediately.

The good news is that this is a fairly routine operation, as brain surgery goes, and they won't be touching any actual brain matter. It's just a skull surgery. So there's little chance of any major complications from that.

However. . . there was something else that they noticed on the MRI. There appears to be something on Elizabeth's pituitary gland. We don't know yet if it is a cyst (treatable with medication) or a benign growth, or a cancerous tumor. She's having blood work done, and is scheduled for a high-resolution MRI focusing on the pituitary on Friday. So we'll know more perhaps as early as next weekend.

Obviously, we're praying it's not cancer. But it could very well be miraculous that she got an MRI to follow up on a known condition that also happened to catch brain cancer at an early and treatable stage. We just don't know. We're having to talk about things like writing a will, cremation vs. burial (cremation all the way), and how long do we keep someone on life support should they fall into a coma. So that's a real challenge, emotionally speaking. We just don't anticipate this sort of thing when we're in our twenties and thirties.

I'm sharing this stuff with you guys because we've known each other a long time. I'm not sharing it with many outside my family, and Elizabeth is fairly private and would prefer not to broadcast her troubles. So please respect that. If you guys are praying much these days, I'd appreciate it if you'd remember Elizabeth and pray for healing.

On a completely unrelated note, Bush and Rumsfeld could be charged with war crimes.

Regurgitation Station

"The monkey is deployed. The monkey is useless!" -- Giblets (Fafblog)

Exciting bonus quote!

"Fiat Crustulum: Let there be pie." -- Fafnir (Fafblog)

I am once again linking you to Fafblog, because the most recent posts make me laugh every time I read them.

Thought for the day

Why do people say they "put their pants on one leg at a time" when they're trying to explain that they really are normal people like you or I? Do really famous/rich/uber individuals have a special technique we don't know about? Do they have servants do it for them, but by god both feet at the same time? Do they jump hong kong action flick style across the room into a pair hung in the doorway? Do they have futurama-style cans of paint that create pants as you spray? Can they generate pants with their sheer force of will? Do they breed super-intelligent pants that crawl up their legs while they stand reading the financial section? It does not compute.

Upon further reflection, I know this saying is just to say that, yes, yes, no matter how rich you get, simple tasks remain the same. Which is to say a rich man's bathroom smells just as bad as a poor man's on burrito tuesday. I just always seem to take that phrase to mean that there's some level of rich/famous/uber that they haven't quite achieved yet, and it is only for the moment that they share some things with the poor. "I put my pants on like you guys now, but just wait until I get another 100 million! You don't even WEAR pants at that level! Another 500 million and my shit will turn into rose petals!"

No, you will never recover the minute it took to read this post.

Link update

I have been remiss in not linking to This Modern World sooner. I saw the comic on alternative newspapers which led me to his blog, which led me into the wide world of political blogs that constitute much of my reading material these days. I still read the comic every monday. Anyway, he is recommended and has now been added to the link list. Be careful though, as he is a gateway blog.

Strange Days

I've been kind of having an off week. I have too many errands to do because I party like the undead do. For instance, I got to work at 3:30 pm today. Did I get in trouble? no. But I had to stay extremely late. It is a vicious cycle. But going to work so late means my errands for the day are screwed and everything piles up. Which is only to say my posting is sporadic this week. I will quickly catch you up on what's going on with me.

I have become enamored of watching television digitally. I finished watching season 2 of Dead Like Me two weeks ago. Now I'm catching up on Lost so I can watch the two final episodes this week. I'm pretty interested in Lost. I really hope the writers have enough talent to make the payoff interesting though. I think they might, the stories have been pretty strong so far. Fingers are crossed, that's all I'm saying. My next object of interest is the second season of Jeremiah.

Fun Fact: I watched the first episode of Lost while on the airplane to Boise. It's interesting to watch a show about a plane crash while your plane is going through a little turbulence. Especially when one is already a little nervous about flying. Ah, hindsight.

My lego AT-AT arrived today. Construction will soon commence. I am excited to be a part of the empire's industrial efforts. On an additional star wars note, I discovered that it is possible to get Tie Fighter to work in windows XP. I remember playing that game with a mouse on Eric's badass 486x 100mhz machine Freshman year of college. Ah, hindsight.

Fun with stuffed animals

If you love stuffed animals, then you'll love this fake commercial for blaupunkt speakers.

Spring has Sprung

skyshark
Originally uploaded by hbot3000.

It has finally decided to be spring in Reno. The cheatgrass makes purple waves on the hills. Some mysterious plant material is making me sneeze. Birds raise a crazy racket in the morning. And the voracious sky shark roams the skies in search of loud, unwary birds. We joke here that we get about two weeks of spring and fall. It is almost always true.

Fun Fact: Cheatgrass is an invasive species in the west. It is changing fire patterns. It has come to prepare the way for an advanced species from the stars. A hyper-intelligent race of petunias with a taste for human blood. Don't worry. The Hbot3000 has been programmed to defend against hyper-intelligent petunias. I will protect you. If I can drag myself out of bed.

The Dark Side of Opening Night

I got premo seats right in front of the H of the THX. Empty seats to the right and left of me and no one sat down for three rows directly in front of me. Not showering for a week sure paid off.

Unfortunately, the world's least educated fanboys were sitting behind me. They were a unigue blend of nerd and hillbilly. Dip and Shit, as I named them, first started talking about level 50 this and when I reach level 60 and get my new armor that. Then it was discussion as to who would win a deathmatch between the crew of the Enterprise (circ. James Tiberius Kirk), Zerglings, a battalian of storm troopers, Orcs from WarCraft III, a jedi and 50 assorted goombas. Of course they reasoned all the red shirts of Star Trek would die at 5 minutes and the rest would die because they left their phasers on stun. The Orcs would decimate the goombas by stepping on them etc, each proclamation being prefaced by "I know, I know..." I could tell they secretly hated each other, each believing their own joke was the cleverest retread of what ever they had just read on the internet.

An actual snippet of dialogue follows:
Dip said to Shit: "I think I know where the word fan comes from."
Shit says to Dip: "Where."
Dip said to Shit:"Well, look at the word fanatic, just drop the addict and you have fan."

This is when I said, "Hey DipShit shut your gobs, my parents dropped me off in the forest and I had to use survival techniques to find a ninja camp." This shut them up before I could tell them about the long lost scripts to the other 3 Star Wars films I had squirreled away in my parents storage unit but I couldn't remember if it was the one that burned down or not.

At least Georgie didn't let me down this time. I think ep 1 and 2 could and should be banned from future generations.

Love this music until your ears bleed

To you, my loyal readers, I present this list of divine music. These are the sounds I geek out to. These are the bands I cherish. These resulted in my most recent restraining orders. Ah the fickleness of today's rock stars. They want us to love them, but not urinate on their cars. Go figure.

Albums of Aural Pleasure:

Dogs Die in Hot Cars -- Please Describe Yourself (XTC + Oingo Boingo = DDHC)
Air -- Talkie Walkie (Beautiful and relaxing)
Garbage -- Bleed like me (The first half I quite enjoy, the last half bores me, but a good garbage fix regardless)
Louis XIV -- The Best Little Secrets are kept (over-sexed and fun to listen to)
The New Pornographers -- Mass Romantic & The Electric Version (Both albums are sublime Alternative Canadian Pop)
Jem -- Finally Woken (reminds me of the 80's. I like the new new wave trend going on)
Anna Nalick -- Wreck of the Day (Soothing my savage nature)
Neko Case -- Blacklisted (beautiful alternative country)
Crystal Method -- Legion of Boom (just your standard beat music, but quality)

This list is by no means complete. Just a quick hit of my latest obsessions.

Photonic Capture and Release

entrails
Originally uploaded by hbot3000.

I don't have much time today, but I bring you this carnage from last weekend's party. What has our society come to?

On an unrelated topic, I'm considering attending the wednesday midnight showing of Episode III, even though I already have tickets to attend the 6:45 pm showing on Thursday. But really, this is the last movie for a while that seems worth geeking out over and attending at midnight. Right? I am undecided.

A quick weekend trip

sunset flying
Originally uploaded by hbot3000.

I flew up to Boise this weekend to visit for my friend Gabe's graduation. It was a blast. I lost twice at heroclix and partied most of the day Saturday. Have you ever heard of a rum called Bacardi 151? did you know that the 151 stands for its proof? Don't ask me how I know that. Also, don't call me for a few days, I somehow burned my throat and can't talk very well. These are unrelated things. Anyway, congratulations to Gabe, even if he did shatter my ego. I tell you something, you haven't lived until you've seen a man attack a pinata with nunchucks and finish it off by ripping open its belly with his teeth. Also no relation to the party I may or may not have attended. Ahem. Anyway, the clouds both there and back were fantastic. I may upload a substatial portion to flickr, but not today. I am emotionally drained. (flops dramatically onto couch)

How I roll

rolling
Originally uploaded by hbot3000.

So after much perseverance, I now have a little dinosaur to ride around on. It is, in fact, everything I hoped it would be. Also with me in this picture is my pet gorilla. You know where he sits? Anywhere he wants to. Interesting note: I have learned that we have about 5 actual, real-life girls in the guild. I need a geek woman who plays online games. If you are that woman you can contact me at:

British Airways
PO Box 5619 (S506)
Sudbury, Suffolk, CO10 2PG

On Madness

I was just reminded of the definition of insanity that goes: "Insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results each time." Or something like that.

I go to bed way too late. What I do most of the time is stay up until 3 or 4 or 5am (with a rare 6am) and then expect to wake up at 8am, ready to go about my day. What happens, almost without fail, is that I hit the snooze for hours, or accidentally turn off the alarm and wake up at 10am, 11am, 12pm, or 1pm (in general, substantially later than I intend to).

I am trying to figure out a connection between these two thoughts, but it's not coming to me.

Photon Capture and Release

slantclouds
Originally uploaded by hbot3000.

I'm getting tired of "quotes of the day" They are boring and I can't think of any right now. So more pictures will be coming your way. I'll try not to make all of them about the cat. But honestly, you're going to see way more of the cat than you ever wanted to so get used to the idea. Anyway, this is the view from my balcony just after sunset. Try not to get lost in it.

I'm a scientist!

I've been very, very busy the past few weeks, so not as much posting to be had. Part of what I've been working for the past week or so is the website for my group. I have made it all new and shiny. A sub-website for my group, and a fairly cool modeling project can be found here. Upgrading both sites to php and with new graphics has been fairly busy for me. Even so, the site is still needs some reorganization and the code is UGLY (shudders). Sadly and noticeably, web design is only a small part of my job and I usually have to settle for quick and dirty over thoroughly beautiful. If you're interested in what I'm up to, take a gander.

Xposé

The Limbaugh of the Left really is in bed with the House of Mouse, contrary to his claims of “censure.” Fahrenheit 9/11 padded Disney’s pockets to the tune of $40 million plus. How much of that will be spent on extending the copyright yet again?

Bonus Xposé: Asexual claims aside that hbot3000 is programmed for pleasure. Older women/couples of Savannah beware.

(Post edited by hbot3000 to fix first link and to warn that second link may not be safe to view at work, depending on where you work)

Ladies Ladies Ladies!

Catgaze
Originally uploaded by hbot3000.

I would like to welcome all the female viewers to this blog. I have extended round 2 of invitations to view these, my secret and meaningful thoughts and this is just a post to make you feel welcome. In that sense, maybe "Ladies, Ladies, Ladies!" wasn't the best title to use for this post. Especially as the inspiration was Jay from Jay and Silent Bob. Hmmm. Perhaps a little inappropriate. Rest assured, I will always strive to make this blog the exactly correct level of inappropriate. You're welcome. In the meantime, enjoy this picture of my cat (Bouncer), as he attempts to take over my mind.

Taking the red pill as a suppository

So I just finished re-watching the matrix trilogy the other day. I don't hate it like others do, but I feel like it could have been more. Exactly what I don't know, it's hard to articulate. I guess it just seems like it all went to their heads after the first one. Or maybe after the first one I thought they might be more clever than I now think they are (they being the brothers W. of course). Anyway, now that I think of them as less clever and slightly pretentious, I tend to view the movies in a different way. Now when I watch them, every time something odd happens I'm mentally channeling Mike Myers (as Goldmember) from his third Austin Powers movie. This is what goes through my head sometimes as I watch various scenes:

"Look, he's really in a computer program, as a battery for machines, isn't that veird!?"
"Look, the machines look like insects, isn't that veird!?"
"Look, the humans all have a huge dance orgy in a cave underground, isn't that veird!?"
"Look, that machine copies himself onto other people, isn't that verid!?"
"Look, Keanu Reeves is listed as an actor in the credits, isn't that veird!?"

That would be a fun DVD extra, have a Goldmember audio commentary track.

Anyway, just thought I'd share. On a side note, there's a poster in a cubicle at work that reads: "I'm glad I took the blue pill . . . and voted! " I must confess, I don't get it.

On a note in a completely different octave from the previous note and it's side note, I saw Hitchhiker's guide to the Galaxy this weekend. I loved it. I knew most of the jokes already, of course, but it's about as good a movie version as will ever be made of the book I think. Marvin is funnier in the book, but I'm not sure that can be helped. I read that Douglas Adams admitted that adapting the story to a movie was incredibly hard (which was why it took so long), so I think he knew the results would be mixed. Regardless, it is still highly recommended. In fact, you are commanded to go see it. So let it be written, so let it be done.

Something REALLY interesting.

Okay, this is just a random musing. It's not even funny. The other day Hazmatt and I were messaging and somehow the topic turned to whether he was high on mushrooms or not. So I told him the test was to look at the keyboard as he typed. I told him if it looked like he was tickling a penguin he might be having a problem. I guess you had to be there. But now I've been thinking of whether I could make money buy building specialized keyboards that were easy to type on, but actually look and maybe feel like you're tickling a kitten, or puppy or elf or something. Somehow the idea of a little elf giggling all day as I type amuses me. Maybe it could be one of those little kid computers. I just have this idea that if you could keep the surface really easy to type on, and could make it feel like you were tickling a puppy all day as you worked it would be really popular. Or at least popular enough during one christmas season that I would make tons of money before everyone got so fed up that they started hucking them out of windows (like those stupid singing fish). Because that's the thing, I think it would annoy the hell out of people in the end. Seriously, annoy the hell right out of them. There would be a distinct lack of hell in the general population. So I guess it's best that I'm a tubby slacker.

The burdens of being laid back

I enjoy this blog as an outlet, but I feel compelled to write to it all the time. Sometimes I force the magic, which leads to somewhat disappointing results. I guess this fits with the general theme here at Slacktopia, high aspirations with, eh, so-so follow through. So I guess I may not post as much as I have been, and post only when I something really interesting to say. I'd discuss it more, but I'm afraid I've lost interest in this paragraph already. Sigh. Brain the size of a planet and they asked me to write a blog.

(I am very excited about hitchhikers guide to the galaxy this weekend. I've always seen myself as Arthur Dent)

Bonus "of the Day" entry

"It's true - 9/11 changed everything, even math and Jesus." -- Fafblog

I continue to enjoy Fafblog. The last 6 or so entries have been highly entertaining.

Cue Maudlin Violin

As some of you who know me know, I am a smidge clumsy. I am also fond of technology. Sensitive, delicate technology. These two things do not mix well. Case in point, I love my iPod but tend to drop it a lot. usually from only a foot or two in height and to nicely carpeted surfaces. I had been lulled into a false sense of confidence by a lack of permanent damage to the ipod after every "episode." What I learned this week, is that while 1 to 2 foot drops are okay, 15 feet from the top of a steep staircase to a very unsoft concrete surface is not as good as you might think. Oddly, my poor Beezle Pod lasted for another half an hour before it froze and crashed repeatedly. Now it just makes clicking sounds at me when I try to turn it on. I believe it's trying to tell me not to turn it on anymore, like Bishop the android head in Alien 3.

I am grief stricken. My only consolation has been to use the rest of my tax return to order a 30gig color ipod and a 512mb of ram for my powerbook. So I guess I will just try to make lemons out of lemonade. With the the new color iPod I mean. Feel free to leave your condolences in the comments.

Also, Did I mention I have a Tivo?

Regurgitation Station

"You love Mole Man!" -- Bart
"You're gay for Mole Man!" -- Lisa
"Nobody's gay for Mole Man . . . " -- Mole Man

Kite-flying

Kite-flying
Originally uploaded by hbot3000.

Mostly a test of an image hosting service. But you might as well see photonic imprints and replication of my trip to the Beach with Eric.

Vaguely remembered quote of the day

"I've tried Low Carb, High Carb, high fat, Atkins, well everything really. And I just can't stop masturbating." -- The Hollow Men

For the Record

I've listened to it a zillion times, and I still think Fountain of Wayne's "Valley Winter Song" is probably the most perfect song I've ever heard. The hbot3000 has spoken.

All hail the hbot3000.

Quote of they Day

"Ask not for whom the bone bones. It bones for thee." -- Bender

Pah-hoe-nix

I have landed in Phoenix. It looks nothing like I remember it. But then, I wasn't familiar with roadways and such when I was 11. It is good to be back though. I've missed it. I love a city where you're sweating before you leave the airport. It was like 50 degrees in Reno, and a smooth 82 in Phoenix when I landed. Supposed to be up to 90 by Friday. I will have to remember to drink water so as to avoid looking like a desiccated husk. I plan on roaming around town Friday, visiting my old stomping grounds.

Also, it strikes me now as obvious that I should have come back to Arizona for Grad school, maybe undergrad. I had forgotten how much I like it here. Yeah, definitely feeling like it's "The Thing I Should Have Done." Could just be the effect of nostalgia I suppose. Or maybe that bean I had for dinner. Blammo!

Also, the presentation I'm supposed to give tomorrow morning is only at 50% or so completion. This is not really a worry to me, having seen a few presentations already. This is definitely a low pressure atmosphere. It strikes me that this might be one of those conferences that agencies cook up as an excuse to party in different cities. Not that business isn't being done, I'm just not sure I see the need for a conference in order to share information on the business being conducted. A few cute girls though, so I'm not complaining.

As a side note, this will be posted once I check into my room later which supposedly has free wireless internet access. I'm not staying at the hotel where the conference is taking place and the wireless here costs like 10 bucks to use. Screw them and their information toll gate.

Quote for the day

"The saint killed our enemies, then went to hell to ask Jesus to increase the severity of your punishment and you reward him with vomit?" -- Lois's mom on the tart she made for Saint Crotus's day (Malcolm in the Middle).

On growing up waiting for the apocalypse

I Tivo'd the new NBC mini-series "Revelations" the other day. As end of the world stories were one of the few forms of fiction I could read growing up, I have this fascination with the end of the world. As those of you raised in a church that refers to the end of the world in its name might understand. It was okay. Kind of typical. Bill Pullman was acceptable but not wonderful. It pretty much just set up satanists versus skeptical scientists versus catholics out to research all the signs of the end of the world. The brain-dead girl portion of the show was strangely prescient as it was filmed before the media circus of a few weeks ago. I'm not sure I recommend it, I just want to note something that occurred to me while I was watching it. I'll phrase it in the form of a question. Doesn't it really seem like the end of the world will not be brought on by atheists and their evil scientist allies, but crazy religious folk out to either start or stop the end of the world? In other words, the atheists and scientists I know hope for a sane, rational world that we all build together, not a utopian paradise build on the ashes of apocalyptic fire.

Well, of course you have your wacko environmental types that do seem to be jonesing for a some sort of environmental apocalypse (global warming or whatever) so maybe I'm just noticing the fringes too much. A comment on one of the blogs I read said it was interesting how extremists on both sides envision a horrible tragedy that would leave behind only those that prepared appropriately (i.e. those who think like them). Still, I think it's hard to work for a better future when your religious philosophy says the world will slide into ruin no matter what you do.

Quote of the Day

"What the hell is the point of view of young people? Blow jobs, that's what they're doing out there. They're out there getting oral sex all day long, that's what they're talking about." -- Rush Limbaugh

I still get his newsletter as a gift from my father. It's worse than you think it might be.

Quote of the Day

"And remember, Minmei loves each and every one of you!" -- Robotech, the Macross Saga

What Rick ever saw in her, I don't know.

The latest buzz

The hot topic in the blogs this week is healthcare. The general idea (at least among the liberal wacko blogs that I read) is that while competitive markets work well for other industries, our version seems to pale in comparison to other (of course not all) countries that use the evil power of socialism to heal people. I don't really want to rant about this for too long, but essentially we pay more per capita, a higher percentage of our GDP, have a slightly lower life expectancy and so forth than several other countries (numbers and post here). I guess I just find it interesting that we're so taken with the idea that our superpowerness makes us ultra-super-supreme in all matters, that we can't seem to stomach the idea that other, less purely capitalist societies manage to meet some basic needs better than we do. I guess all I'm saying is, clearly other countries manage to give their citizens decent healthcare at a reasonable price, why can't we? Our national superpowers have to be good for something. Fafblog says it much more oddly than I ever could.

More oil blogging

So, for those of you less likely to eat up the fire and brimstone of modern day prophets, I submit more cautious and perhaps reasonable response to the Long Emergency article I linked to below.

For the record, it's not so much that I desire the doom and gloom scenario, I do like the option to drive 700 miles and all of my gadgetry does run on precious, precious electricity. I am just fascinated with disasters is all. Which is why I once made Eric sit through the Core with me. I loved the disaster part, even if the rest was physically painful to watch. I am the only one I know who likes Armageddon, Godzilla and Independence Day. Although truthfully I can only stomach certain bits of ID because I think Bull Pullman is a fairly bad actor.

Also, I am simply fascinated by our amazing lack of long-term planning. The Bush administration should have evacuation routes for when the sun goes nova damn it! Okay, that may be a bit much. Seeing us through the next ice age will be sufficient.

Also, two new links, which will probably end up in the links section. The first is the unapologetic weekly column of the guy who wrote the Long Emergency. For those of you who like your oil news somewhat less pessimistic and/or sensationalistic, The Oil Drum is run by a couple of oil eggheads.

Also, price of unleaded gas in Reno today? $2.60.

Yin and Yang

So I must modify my previous declaration about flying into or out of Reno. While it is true that flying out of Reno Friday was the bumpiest I've experienced yet, flying back in was the smoothest. It was, in fact, smooth as a baby's bottom. That's what the captain even said. As we were landing the intercom sparked on and he just kept saying "smooth as a baby's bottom". Then I heard the copilot giggling so maybe they were talking about something else.

Okay, Truth Time. The part about the captain and the copilot didn't happen.

So I guess now my declaration is, flying into Reno is bumpy 90% of the time. Also, 56% of the statistics I use on this site are pulled out of my ass.

MMORPFU

Let me just say, that I have had a ton of fun playing World of Warcraft and City of Heroes. However, my lack of a social life has probably been the primary reason I've been able to play for as long as I have. The two largest cons have to be:

1) It eats time like you wouldn't believe.

2) You don't want to play any of your other games. At least I don't. I've been sitting on Chronicles of Riddick, Doom 3 and Grand Theft Auto: Vice City for months now.

Anyway, they are fun, but the drawbacks are as bad as everything you've been lead to believe. I may have more to say on this later, but for now, just some thoughts. Actually, I have a lot to talk about on this subject, but we'll keep some nerd topics in small doses. You're welcome.

It is also a plus that no virtual marriages occur in my two favorite virtual worlds. That's shit's just crazy.

I have arrived in Portland

It is lovely here. We were briefly in the pearl district to eat the best Sushi I've ever had. I'm still in some sort of endorphin driven state of contentment. We then went back to what Eric calls the clam (everything but the pearl) part of town. We are currently loading world of warcraft onto his computer so he can load up a 10-day guest pass and ruin his life. Tomorrow we may make a kite (or perhaps just buy one). His boss will also try and convince me to come to Portland and be a computer science M.S. or Ph.D. I will not drop everything and come racing up, but I admit it is quite tempting. I've always wanted to live on the coast. Anyway, that's what's going on. Before I move on though, a quick word on flying out of Reno.

OH MY GOD!

For those of you who have visited my new hovel on the hill, it can sometimes be quite windy there. So when I awakened to the whooooosh of the passing weather system trying to blow my apartment block down, I knew things would get interesting. Actually, the last few days have been about the windiest I've ever seen at my place. In the wind tunnel I have to pass through to get to my car, the wind feels like it's pushing you along. It feels like if I jump it'll carry me over the railing and into the parking lot. Anyway, I knew it would be bad. So on take off, about 30 seconds in it's just a roller coaster. Up, down, left sideways, I was so, so sick. The thing is, it's always bumpy going in and out of Reno, but this was so bad. Ugh. I was sick for half the flight. So consider it a warning. Flying into Reno is ALWAYS bumpy. Just so you know.

Weekend Wandering

I will be visiting Eric in the wonderful City of Portland this weekend. It is but the beginning of my spring/summer traveling tour. Next on the list are Walla Walla and Eureka (in no particular order). Those of you in either city will be contacted about tour dates. Also, I will be in Phoenix for a conference April 19-21. It is the city of my early childhood. I am looking forward to it. All that remains is to somehow turn a 15 minute talk into a 45 minute talk. Ugh.

As an interesting factoid, the city of Portland has more strip clubs per capita than any other city in the country (this is unrelated to my weekend travel plans).

Woohoo! (this is unrelated to the previous sentence.)

Environmental fun!

As mentioned in my first post, this will be a place to vent for me. That will include the occasional political commentary. Possibly ranting. I make no apology, but just so you know.

This post isn't particularly political, but it is interesting to me, so I'm passing the savings on to you.

The two most interesting things I've read on the environment in the past few weeks are linked below.

An interesting blog article on something called global dimming, but link through to the original article.

An interesting, if overly alarmist excerpt from a book on oil production in the next 20 years. Most oil experts tend to agree on the coming oil problems, but are somewhat less alarmist than this guy in the implications. Still, it's an interesting read.

So if either of these happens to even be moderately true, we may indeed be living in Interesting Times in the next few decades.

Sleep tight!

Sin City

In reply to a post on a friend's blog (which I'm not sure I'm allowed to link to, so I won't), I'm not sure there is a point to the constant stream of ultra-violence seen in Sin City. I actually have read 3 or 4 of the graphic novels, and I'm still not sure what the point is of writing such violent and sex-filled stories. I think Mr. Miller had a point in mind, I just haven't figured it out yet. I do enjoy the stories though. Pulp is occasionally fun.

Having said that, the movie itself is beautiful visually. And if you read the graphic novels, you'll see that the movie is almost entirely faithful in both script and look. Almost every shot, down to the viewing angle, composition and so forth is nearly identical to the comic. It really is the most faithful comic book adaptation you'll ever see.

I feel compelled to point out in this, my second post, that I've been reading comic books as much or more than real books for the last 10 years or so. As a direct result, I believe my verbal and writing skills have deteriorated. Also, my spelling as I wish I had a spell check for the last word of the last sentence. Anyway, just don't expect interesting or astonishing prose. We'll both be happier that way.

The ball begins to roll

Hello. I greet you all. I've just gotten the site going and I'm going to get a few posts up here. For the record, this will most likely be a place for me to vent. As such, the people I direct to this page of pages will probably be finite in number. For instance, this probably isn't a site I'd tell my parents about. Not that it's going to be particularly foul, but there may from time to time be profanity. Otherwise, what I'm mostly going to be doing is informing you, my doting public, what's on my mind or perhaps, if you're good, what I'm doing and where I am. But for now. That's the skinny.

(Also, please don't use my real name anywhere in comments. I'm trying to stay uncomprimised by search engines. Violations will be prosecuted. I know a good lawyer.)

(Also, consider this site under construction until otherwise noted.)